I knew that this last term of school had been particularly tough on me. I have struggled with chronic depression for years and will probably be medicated forever and I avoid unpleasant topics, real and fictional, like the plague. I knew the combo of discussing death and death processes and all that entailed was stressing me out. Plus the very real worries for my friends in Ukraine. It was a really tough combo of unavoidable hard things to think about. By the end of the term, my stomach hurt all of the time and I rarely slept more than a few hours at a time and I wanted to cry constantly. But I figured it was all just a coincidence.
And now I've been done with school for almost 2 weeks and instead of discussing death I am sleeping and exercising and not feeling sick all the time! I don't have to constantly worry about logging on to a discussion board and backing up my opinions to someone who disagrees with me and I don't constantly have huge papers on difficult concepts hanging over my head. I feel like I've been carrying a 1000 pound load on my shoulders that's suddenly gone.
I still have deadlines for work- lots of articles coming due in the next few months, and I want those to be great, but I have editors! And no one is grading me on them! And I get help when I need it!
I suddenly have time to play games with my kids and clean my house and even nap when I need it! I reorganized the playroom and my half of the wardrobe and the pantry and the fridges and things are clean and organized! And I am so ridiculously glad to be done with so much stress.
On another, even more fabulous note, it looks like Ethan and I, and possibly Vivian and Daniel too (depending on Daniel's work schedule) are going to Turks and Caicos for a few days, in a couple of weeks. Did I mention what a great idea it was to stop being a scientist and start being a travel writer instead? Seriously. My job rocks.