Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I just want to make it all better

Back when Ethan was three, he was identified by his primary care doctor as having some delays.  In Seattle, kids 3 and up are the responsibility of the school system, in terms of therapy, so he went for an evaluation. Unsuprisingly, he turned out to be delayed in a number of areas and he was able to get into a special preschool and get lots of help.

Since then, he's been making huge progress and learning skills and to us seemed to be struggling less in a lot of areas.  Unfortunately, that turned out not to be true.  I was able to compare Ethan to Ethan, but not really to other kids his age, so I didn't really know where he was falling on the developmental scale.

Then today, in preparation for his 3-year re-evaluation, we got the report back from the school. His therapists at school (three of them), the school nurse, the school psychologist, the resource room teacher and his classroom teacher (I think that covers it all!) all submitted reports and it was compiled into one big set of recommendations.

As it turns out, he's still massively delayed and hasn't really made noticeable progress in many of the areas.  And I am so frustrated.  It is so hard watching my child struggle so much with so many things in his life. I hate when we all try to encourage and help and support and he still feels like he isn't succeeding. And he seems to have inherited the bad habit of avoiding things he's not good at (his dad and I both do that), so on many things he's more or less given up.

And he's still just so tiny and cannot gain weight. And I can't fix that either, even though I seem to have no problem getting fatter myself!

It's hard to see your child struggling and going through so many challenges. It hurts that I can't make things easier for him.

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