Thursday, April 5, 2012

Love Languages

Because I am a good mother, I just sacrificed my own waistline and ate part of the kids' Easter candy, after I started putting it in their baskets and realized how much I'd accumulated over the last month.  The things we moms do for our children :)

I have been thinking about the love languages a lot lately.  A few weeks ago I read the 5 Love Languages of Children book for the review blog (and I'm giving away a copy, if you're interested, drop by the other blog!) and so it's been on my mind since then.  And then earlier this week I was having a conversation with a friend about love languages and she was telling me that she recently had a situation when her husband just couldn't speak her love languages and it made a tough situation worse.

I had one of those moments this morning. I got back from my "run" and was in a snotty mood and just couldn't shake it. And every time I made a comment about it, Daniel would hug me or try to kiss me.  Which a lovely sentiment, but the exact worst thing to do in the situation, because I DO NOT LIKE TO BE TOUCHED!  It's one of my biggest struggles with motherhood- the constant physical touching.  I'm just not that type of a person. In grad school I used to make my friends laugh with the personal space bubble that I required for sitting in class. 

And now I have a co-sleeper who feels like she cannot get close enough to me, and so my tolerance for touching is pretty much used up by the time the alarm goes off in the morning.

The funny thing about this is that when we were dating, Daniel was super cautious and uncomfortable with public displays of affection, so it took a long time to get him to hold my hand or kiss me in public. I knew we were serious when he kissed me goodbye in the Asian supermarket, in front of crowds of Asian people. 

This is definitely something we need to work on. I need to give him more hugs and kisses and snuggles. And I need to not bristle when he tries to comfort me with a hug- he's just expressing love the best he can.  But I also need to keep working on making him understand that my love languages are gifts and words of affirmation, and either of those will go much further in making me feel loved than a hug.

Now, I feel that I must return to protecting my children from sugar overload by eating more of their Easter candy.  I am so dedicated and self-sacrificing....

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

Oh, I am right there with you. I do not like to be touched at all. And DH is all about hugging and grabbing and kissing. My first reaction is always to bristle and I know it hurts him, but it's just automatic. I don't know how to stop the cycle, but let me know if you figure it out!