Monday, March 12, 2012

Anxiety

I'm feeling anxious this afternoon. Thankfully Ethan's at school and Vivian's napping, so I can hide in my bedroom and feel this way without causing stress to anyone else. Except our psycho cat. I think I'm making her jumpy.

We have done pretty much nothing now for the past couple of weeks. I was really wiped out physically by the Iceland trip and emotionally/mentally by all the people in my presence. So after my parents went home, I pretty much did nothing after that. We haven't had things on our social calendars, I don't have any pressing obligations right now. We've just kind of been existing. Which is fine and I like that most of the time.

Then I started updating my calendar for the next few months and suddenly it was full almost to the end of August. WHEN I START GRAD SCHOOL AGAIN. OH MY GOODNESS WHAT WAS I THINKING!

Hyperventilating.  Suddenly I have to plan things and get ready for a really busy next few months with trips and visiting people and a wedding and lots of fun stuff! And then I have to somehow juggle taking care of my family with studying law and public policy and what if Vivian stops napping in the afternoon.

Oh, and I have discovered on the last two school friend playdates that my kids are woefully un-busy. They don't do music classes or swim classes or anything.  Nothing other than school. And Vivian doesn't even have that. Am I harming their development?

I think I'm just going to hide under the covers now.

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