It's Tuesday. It's raining. I did not get up and go running this morning. It's after noon and my kids are still wearing their jammies. And they are making me INSANE. Ethan's off school this week, and that means there's no break, ever. How quickly I got used to the quiet afternoons when he is at school and Vivian naps. This week it's constant bickering and shoving and Ethan is completely incapable of saying a single phrase without prefacing it with "Mom! Mom? Mom!" EVERY SINGLE TIME. He's doing it now.
I've been struggling with Ethan lately- I'm so glad that he's gaining weight and the feeding tube has been such a huge relief. But him getting more calories means more energy. And with Ethan that means that some of his sensory issues are dialed up too. He's a sensory seeker, which means he has to be touching someone and crashing into them and climbing and just constantly requiring input. And I prefer to never have anyone touching me ever. I've always been anti-physical contact. So much so that my grad school friends laughed at me because I required a large personal space bubble and would flinch if someone sat too close to me in class. So being climbed and bumped into and shoved all day by a little person is not my favorite thing. I love the hugs and kisses, but the rest of the constant touching makes me batty.
I really don't know how Ethan's teachers and therapists at school manage with 16 of these special needs boys.
Oh, and Vivian's response to Ethan's pushing and shoving all day is to shriek and overreact at the top of her lungs. ARGH. Thank goodness we have plans for tomorrow, because I think making it through today is going to do me in and I cannot do this for another day.
And did I mention that we are going to Thanksgiving with our usual group of relatives, but this year there are 14 extra people coming along. So there will be 27 people in my uncle's not huge house. I have trouble breathing when I even think about that. Thank goodness I am in charge of bringing the wine and can prepare properly :)
Now I need to stop whining and go work on being thankful for my kids and this free time we have together. Deep breath.