Since I'm not close to many people these days, I've been pretty able to hide this. The only people that really know are you guys and Daniel. And yes, many of you have encouraged me to chat with someone about this, but you're on the internet and I can ignore you :) Daniel, poor guy, has been bearing the brunt of this issue, but he's not one to push me to do anything. Honestly, I think he's a little scared of me sometimes.
So I've been pretending that things aren't that bad and that the fog will lift and that I can manage. But even I don't really believe that anymore. My kids are getting older and they deserve a mommy who's not sad and discouraged all the time. Last night I decided that I would finally make an appointment to see my doctor. It was hard to take that final step though. I had the "request appointment" screen up on my computer all morning. (I have serious phone phobia, so LOVE the online appointment thing!)
Then I turned around and saw this in my living room:
Having a daughter scares me sometimes, but it's also motivating. More so than having a son, especially since my son more or less has his daddy's personality. Vivian is much different, much more like me in so many ways. And when I saw her literally trying to walk in my shoes, I went over to the computer and pressed the button to request an appointment.
Unfortunately, my appointment isn't for over a week, so I have plenty of time to chicken out. I hope I don't. I'm scared I will. We'll see what happens.