Friday, January 14, 2011

Long nights

I'm pretty sure that nights spent in the hospital are the longest kind.  By my count, this is my 11th night spent in the hospital in my life.  The most amusing night ever spent in the hospital was when I had my appendix out- I remember the nurses walking into my room to check on me and being shocked by the volume of snoring coming from my mom over in the corner. 

Most of the other nights in the hospital were when the kids were born.  Long nights when we were trying to get Ethan to come out, long nights recovering from c-sections, one long night when I was admitted at 34 weeks with Vivian for steroid shots and possible early delivery. 

Tonight was tough. Ethan pulled his tube halfway out once and had to go through having it put back in. We've had nurses in and out and now a new roommate- one who is much sicker than Ethan and one who is breaking my heart as I hear his mom filling the nurse in on all the details of his illness.

There've been many moments of doubt tonight. Wondering if we did the right thing, wondering how on earth I'm going to handle this. Not looking forward to Ethan waking up and realizing that he still has a tube in his nose.

But daylight will be here soon and the time for doubting and worrying will be done, and it'll be time to pull up my big girl pants, trust that Ethan is in God's hands, and get on with what needs to be done. Because I'm a mom, and that's what we do.

4 comments:

A said...

Andrew had his first rotation at Children's yesterday (he's there every thursday for the next 8 weeks) and I was thinking of you both there all day yesterday. HUGS.

Lizzie said...

And you're the best kind of mom there is, Carrie. Ethan is so, so lucky to have you. xoxo

Andrea said...

That stinks about him having to get the tube put in again. Did they have to knock him out again?

I was explaining Megan's hemangioma to someone the other day and how we had to wait for months to find out what was going on. She said, "I don't know how you went through that, I couldn't handle that." I just told her you do what you have to because it is what it is. If it had happened to her she would have "handled it" just fine. My point is, you're doing a great job of all of this. I like the usage of the term "pulling up your big girl pants" lol

I hope Ethan gets more comfortable with his tube soon.

Mommyto3andahusky said...

Praying for Ethan and for you and Daniel. You are such a wonderful Mom Carrie. Ethan is one lucky little boy. :)