I was just rocking Vivian to sleep and having conversations with myself in my head while I sat there. Wondering just how long I was going to have to sit on the floor and rock. Wondering if it would be a terrible thing to quietly ask Daniel to bring me my iPod so that I could listen to podcasts while I sat in the dark (I do not do "nothing" well. At all.) Wondering what the boys were watching on TV in the living room. Wondering why Vivian can't let me be more than 2 feet away from her for more than 3 minutes.
Seriously, pre-rocking I had decided to take a break from the kids and take a bath, only to be serenaded by the sound of Miss Vivian screaming outside my door. I keep explaining to her that Daddy is actually the nicer parent, by far, and much more patient and much more of a pushover, but to no avail.
Anyway, I was sitting there on the floor, and suddenly realized two things. One- she barely fits on my lap anymore. That's the drawback of being 5 feet tall- the kids outgrow the curling up on my lap comfortably stage really quickly. Ethan's definitely past the comfort stage for that, particularly since he's got no padding and is just a little bundle of elbows and knees. But Vivian's rapidly outgrowing me too, and I didn't notice it happening..
The other thing I realized was that I was sitting on the floor next to her toddler bed. And on the wall above her not-a-crib-anymore, is not the baby decor that I put up before Ethan was born, but big girl wall decor. We redecorated this weekend and went ahead and converted Vivian's crib to a toddler bed, since she doesn't actually sleep there anyway.
The cliche about "days are long but years are short" is SO true, isn't it? Most days find me practically curled up into the fetal position and exhausted from referring fights and being climbed on and begged to read book after book after book and negotiating meals with Ethan. But at the same time, I suddenly have a little boy who is going to be going to school. ON THE BUS!!! in a few months (I really have no idea when) and a little girl who is sleeping in a real bed and who runs and talks in phrases, not just words, and is 18 months old going on 14 years old.
It's a weird stage for all of us. I'm still not much of a kid person, so I'm glad in a lot of ways as they grow up and become more interesting (to me at least). But at the same time it's so weird and sad and scary and oh-my-goodness-they're-growing-up-so-fast!!! I'm so blessed with these kids. I hope I can remember more of that this week and focus less on the stressful things.
On a related note, if you're a praying person, we could use prayers for Ethan. We were so encouraged by his eating after his stomach flu, but lately he's stopped eating again and on our home scale he's now down to 25 pounds (He's 3 years and 4 months old, so that's in the 1-2nd percentile). I'm going to take him in to the doctor this week for an official weight check and to chat about what to do next. Still wishing I could loan Ethan about 15 pounds from my hips. That would solve problems for both of us! :)