Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Me time

Daniel and I are in constant conversation about a lot of things lately. One of those things that we both keep bringing up to the other one is lack of free time.  I'm pretty much always at home with the kids, and he's either working or home with us.  Neither of us really has outside hobbies, other than the occasional run for me or trip to the gym for him. We don't really have friends that we hang out with or activities to attend.

So we're both kind of at a loss for this. We offer each other free time, but the truth is, neither of us knows what to do with it.  We both moved when we got married and switched churches and he switched jobs twice, so that was kind of a natural break from our single lives.We went from our busy individual lives in other cities to a brand new life in a new place as a married couple at a new church, then had kids so fast that we didn't ever expand our lives much past our front door.

All to say, we don't really have social lives, so we spend almost all our evenings and weekends together. Which is fine, except for the little people (who we LOVE!) but who are a little draining and don't so much go to bed at a reasonable time (such as before midnight).

Daniel was pushing me to go out on my own one day this weekend, but I was so at a loss for what to do that I ended up not going.  Shopping is kind of out of the question these days, and I had no idea where else to go. And, honestly, even though I'm around the kids all day, it's lonely. I have conversations with myself all day, and I'm tired of myself by evening most days. The last thing I want on the weekends is to spend time alone.

I'm a little disappointed in myself, honestly. I used to be involved in so many things at my old church, but the same programs and activities don't exist at our current church, and I haven't found my place there.  And, honestly, I miss working. Not everything about it, but there were a lot of things that I did well and that made me feel encouraged and motivated. And I'm disappointed that 3+ years into marriage we still only have one person who's ever watched the kids. And who now has a VERY busy social life of her own.  We keep saying we need to find a babysitter or two that we really trust with the kids, but then we make excuses and don't do it. So we're not recharging as individuals or as a couple. And I KNOW both are important, I really do. 

I just don't want to wake up 10 years from now and realize that Daniel and I have said all there is to say to each other, or both get totally bored of each other since we're becoming so one-dimensional. Just not sure how to fix it right now. 


The Rathmell Family said...

Hi Carrie,

I found that having a child meant that I quickly shifted my social circle and my friends are now the parents of my son's friends. You're kind of excluded from this since your kids aren't in daycare or mother's day out, but Ethan is starting school soon, right? I bet you will find some mom-friends there.

L said...

we don't even have kids yet and I feel this way,lamenting not having friends. It's just something to work on daily, I guess.