Thursday, October 28, 2010

Confessions

1) My kids were insane today. INSANE.  So bad that I decided that loading them up in the stroller and going for a walk in the pouring rain was preferable to listening to them bicker for one single second longer. Of course now they are getting along and are being all cute. Because Daddy is due home soon. When he gets home he will get hugs and they will hold hands and hug each other and be all adorable. I sense a plot :)

2)  I already poured tonight's glass of wine.  It could not wait until 8 PM. Seriously.

3) This might sound completely insane, but I admit that I have days where the reality of me being a mom and being responsible for these little people is just too big to comprehend. I still feel many days that I'm just babysitting.  It's weirdest at times like bedtime when I get the kids to bed and dinner cleaned up and then I realize that this isn't a babysitting job. It's my life. I'm the mom! There is no real adult that's going to show up and be the real mom! I am the real adult.

Freaky.

4)  I also get weirded out by the idea of being a mom when I'm around my parents. Even just on Skype. Because my kids do not behave when we're on Skype for our weekly chat and I'm always trying to round up kids and get them to stop fighting and stop climbing things and be firm enough with my discipline, but not seeming too harsh and "oh my goodness, my parents are listening and THEY'RE real adults and probably think I'm doing it wrong!" Which, according to what they say, they don't actually think, they think Daniel and I are doing a good job. But still. It's weird.

5)  I totally expected to not feel like a real adult when I was in my 20s or even when I was a newlywed, but I'm almost 34 (oh, that's hard to type...) and I've been married for almost 5 years and my kids are not babies. I've been doing adulthood/marriage/parenthood for a while and I still feel like I'm playing house!

6) I just realized that volunteering at Women of Faith tomorrow is going to mean speaking to strangers. Possibly hundreds of them. Suddenly getting a bit nervous. Still excited though.

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