Monday, August 16, 2010

Time to stop enabling

Poor Ethan, he turned three last week and some sort of circuit finally connected in my brain, and I realized that I am the mother of an almost completely helpless preschool age child. And I realized that I need to do something about this.

I think the truth started dawning on me slowly over the last few months, as I read blogs of people with kids close in age to my son.  We don't hang out much with other children, and when we do, they're generally quite a bit younger than Ethan is.  So that kind of kept me from realizing how far behind he was falling in several areas of development and just in do-it-yourself skills.  And his speech is delayed and his eating is non-existent and he's the size of a 2-year-old, so that also kept me from putting things together.

But on Sunday we were working in Ethan's Children's Church class and I took Ethan and another boy, the same age as Ethan, to the bathroom to wash hands. And for Ethan, I lifted him up and turned on the faucet and squirted soap in his hands and dried them off. When it was the other boy's turn, he climbed up the stairs, turned the water on himself, washed his hands and climbed down. I only had to hand him paper towels.  In Ethan's defense, the other kid is the third child in his family, but still. Ethan does almost nothing on his own. And it's getting ridiculous.

So now poor Ethan suddenly finds his days of being a little emperor, waited on hand and foot, at an end. Poor kid. We need to get some of these things under control soon. My hurry-up-and-do-it-right-the-first-time attitude, if not kept in check, will result in a totally helpless little kid, and I want to raise confident, independent kids, not needy ones.  I think this is more a matter of training Mommy than training Ethan :)

On another note, we're off to Children's tomorrow to go to the GI clinic, where they will tell us that he has to have an endoscopy. We've had this conversation with them before, but I need more information on what to expect and what's the next step if this test shows nothing.  Daniel and I had a big "discussion (read argument)" last night over nothing at all. Just too much stress building up in us from this constant low-grade worry about Ethan and the 24-hour-a-day stress of trying to get him to eat or drink his supplement.  It's all getting very, very old.

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