(An old post that I found in my editor, unpublished)
My 5-month-old daughter will only fall asleep if she is 1) nursing, 2) snuggled up close to me, or 3) sometimes (but not always) given a bottle full of more milk than her tiny tummy should be able to hold.
So I have a lot of time to stare at her. My daughter. It's still weird to write those words- even 5 months after she is born and 10 months after we found out that our baby was a girl. I'm still waiting for the whole idea of me being a mom to stop being weird in general. How the heck did I end up to be almost 33 years old and responsible for multiple small people? Seriously?
So right now Vivian is in her usual early night/late morning spot in our bed- right in the middle. She tends to end up there from 10 PM-1 AM and then 6 AM onwards, since she has an utter meltdown if she wakes up and finds herself anywhere else. And I was reading a book and watching her sleep next to her daddy. And I was so overwhelmed by it all. Not only have I been blessed with an amazing husband who is my best friend and the love of my life, I have two wonderful (albeit COMPLETELY exhausting little kids). Ethan is my clone, so it doesn't hit me as much when I look at him, but then there are nights like tonight when Vivian and Daniel are sleeping. And I look at my daughter curled up next to me and see the reflection in her face of my beloved husband who is sleeping another 6 inches away. Same skin, same eyes. She has my mouth, but other than that, she is her daddy's girl.
And I'm reminded of all the unanswered prayers and closed doors that led me here. I didn't meet Daniel until I was 27, and didn't marry him until I was a month shy of 29. I had all but given up on finding that true love. I had no idea that he was still out there and that he was only 70 miles away. I really hope that I never stop thanking God for the blessing that he and the kids are in my life. I am so SO blessed.