Have I mentioned that the secret to having a peaceful mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship is having a major language barrier between the two parties that makes them not even really attempt to communicate? I'm so not kidding about this. I like and respect my mother-in-law. She has survived more horrible life experiences than I could ever imagine surviving. She instilled in my husband most of the values that I respect in him. She is a truly great woman.
But, she is (I'm pretty sure), a 70 pound thinner, Chinese-speaking version of myself. (If you're new here- that means a type A, VERY strong-willed woman). Which means it's definitely for the best that we communicate through Daniel, who conveniently forgets to pass on any potentially controversial topic.
I have known for a while that my mother-in-law has been making comments about Ethan not being potty-trained. Again, for any new readers, Ethan is almost 27 months old, doesn't talk in any way that I can actually understand, denies having a dirty diaper even when it can be smelled from outer space, and has expressed nothing even remotely approaching interest in the potty. Oh, and he's just like me and his grandmother, incredibly strong-willed. Therefore, I have opted to not start potty-training yet.
Then came the plans for me to go visit my parents with Vivian, in January. Daniel can't take off work and I can't travel alone with Ethan and Vivian, so Ethan is staying here and Daniel's parents are going to come down from Canada and stay with him while Daniel works. And soon after that plan, Daniel's mom made a comment to Daniel (which he passed on to me) that Daniel and his brother were both potty-trained by their first birthday. So I suggested that maybe his mother would like to use the time that she spends with Ethan in January to potty-train him.
As I see it, this is mostly a win-win situation.
1) Ethan gets potty-trained and I am happy because I don't have to deal with it and Daniel's mom is happy because she potty-trained him and that silly daughter-in-law didn't.
2) Ethan behaves exactly as I expect, and refuses to do anything on the potty, and maybe Daniel's mom will stop talking to Daniel about the fact that Ethan is too old to be in diapers.
What I fear is that Ethan will go in the potty for the time she's here, and then will refuse to do so when I get back, because he's in a giant power struggle with Mommy. Then there will be comments like "well, he was doing just fine when I was there" and such.
I've decided it's worth the risk, to just let her try, and if it doesn't work, I'm going to just ask Daniel to NEVER translate anything she says about Ethan's diaper status ever again.