Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Having faith

Before I start rambling on- if you think of it, pray for Loralee and her family today- it's the anniversary of the death of their infant son.

Having a toddler has been a very eye-opening experience for me in terms of my faith in what God is doing in my life.  My family is going through some stuff right now that's stressful- mainly stuff dealing with Daniel's long commute and low pay and things like that. And we're trying really hard to have faith that God has a plan for us and that the things that seem discouraging to us are a part of that plan.

Sometimes it makes me grateful for hanging out with a whiny toddler.  You see, Ethan is such a living example of how I behave sometimes. He asks me for things, and sometimes I have to say no, because it's something that's not good for him. No, no matter how much you cry, Mommy is not going to let you play with the pointy chopstick, especially with your baby sister sitting next to you. No, you may not throw the glass bowl across the room. No, Mommy is not going to give you a sip of her hot latte (for several reasons!). 

And sometimes he asks me for things and I say yes, but it takes me a few minutes to get them for him. He asks for milk, and I'm happy to get it, but it seems to always involve finding a clean sippy cup, reassembling the clean sippy cup, digging the milk carton out of the back of the fridge, opening it, pouring the milk, getting the lid on the sippy cup properly... getting things together takes time.  In his world, the milk should magically appear in his little fist as soon as he finishes signing and saying "pees?"  I'm not being cruel or heartless or mean, it just takes time for things to come together properly.

We're trying to trust in those two things for our lives- that the doors that shut are the ones that aren't right for us, and that God is protecting us from the things that are wrong for us. And while doors are being shut and there's too much quiet on the "yes" front, we trust that He is getting things together- the right things that are meant for us.

It still gets a little discouraging though.  I'm not a patient person by any stretch of the imagination and I want things now.  (Yeah, that's where Ethan got it from).  So praying for faith and patience and trust.

I know I've quoted the lyrics from this Greg Long song (Everything is Gonna Be Alright) before, but they're in my mind again this evening.

What can I say
When faith slips away
Into doubt
And the fear that I feel
Is incredibly real
And there's no way out
Everything is shaken
Hope is almost taken
But there is something making me say

CHORUS
I'm good
I'm fine
But I've seen better days
Maybe say a prayer when you think of me
I could use some help when you're on your knees
The Lord is kind
I know He's gonna see me through
Everything is gonna be alright

I'm holding onto
The mercy and truth
Of His plan
I'll weather this storm
Safe in the warmth
Of my Father's hand
But through the healing stages
I will stand courageous
Though the hurting rages in me

CHORUS

There is trouble on every side, but I'm not broken
I have been struck down, but I am not destroyed
Persecuted but I'm not abandoned
My hope is in the Lord,
My hope is in the Lord...

CHORUS

Everything is gonna be all right
Everything is gonna be all right

2 comments:

Sarah Osborne said...

What a lovely post. I completely agree with you. God is our father and knows much better than we do what we should and when we should do it. Much like a mom is with her toddler :)

One Happy Family said...

Such beautiful sentiments. I've often thought about that same concept since I've become a mother. I've decided that God, as our Father, loves US more than our happiness. My daughter may not be very happy when I put her on time-out, but I do it because I know what is best for her. I often feel like I'm a whiny toddler, and I need to have more love and faith in my perfect parent. Thanks for sharing!