Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I really hate Tuesdays

It's 10:20 AM, and I am blogging, in the hopes that writing about my crappy morning will help me not do what I really want to do, which is go online and book a one-way plane ticket to Tahiti.

Actually, my crappy day started yesterday. That's why I'm so done with all this so early in the morning. It started with a conversation with my parents, in which my dad asked how I was doing with the whole stay-at-home mom thing. I said that I was bored out of my mind, and he suggested that I take a class or something. ??? I tried to explain that, if it was just a matter of needing something to do, then I could work and make some money, but, given that I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old, I don't actually have a great deal of time to sit quietly and work on anything. I never know when they're going to nap, if it's going to be at the same time, or how much time I'm going to have. And that's when I need to be cleaning and paying bills and doing things like that. So I'm not lacking for activities, just adult conversation and mental stimulation. I don't think he got it.

All day my sweet, wonderful, caring, darling husband (he really is great, I should not complain. But I'm going to) said that he would be home early from work, so that we could give our toddler his birthday cake early in the evening, so the sugar rush wouldn't keep him up all night. He got home at 6:45. And when he got home, he mysteriously knocked on the door instead of using his key. Because he dropped the keys down the elevator shaft. I KID YOU NOT. Who does that? Actually, I know who does that. My husband. Things like that happen to him. I grew up with a brother who had that kind of luck and my parents seem to trend that way too. Which is why I think I'm so hyperaware and overly careful of everything.

Then he ruined his white shirt lying on the elevator floor and trying to see if his keys were caught nearby. His very expensive white shirt.

The birthday evening went fine after that, except Ethan ate his cake at 7:30, thanks to the search for the keys in the elevator shaft, and was up until after 10 (his bedtime is 8).

I had a dentist appointment this morning and found out that, not only do I need two fillings, but the toothache that I have been dealing with all week, the one that has been keeping me up at night and making me very grouchy- it's an infection under a crown in a tooth with a prior root canal. So that means a visit to the specialist and another root canal.

BUT- I was determined to not let it all get to me. I was resolved to have a good attitude and try to be in a better mood today. I got back upstairs from the dentist and read my emails and was really enjoying today's message from Proverbs 31 Ministries. So I closed the computer and cleaned the kitchen and went to make the bed. And discovered that the cat had, once again, wet all over my side of the bed. This is how she is coping with the new baby (we've had her checked, there's nothing medically wrong). I just cried then, because I just washed the sheets yesterday and one of my two my biggest struggles with being home is the repetitive nature of things. Wash the clothes, wash the sheets, run the dishwasher, unload the dishwasher, fold the clothes, change the diaper, make meal, clean up meal. Repeat. And repeat. And it's frustrating, because I'm trying hard to pay attention to the cat and make her feel loved, but I don't really have much time and energy left for the cat right now.

I know I shouldn't let the little things get to me so much. I really need to work on that.

I desperately need a break, but am seriously low on time and money both. So that's not happening. And no, traveling to Canada this weekend to attend my brother-in-law's wedding does not count as a break :)

Anyway, thanks for listening. I have to pack up the kids and go walk to the store now to get my antibiotic prescription filled. The excitement is endless, isn't it :)


Lindsey said...

Hey, my husband flushed his cell phone down the toilet at work once. No wait, twice. No wait - twice it fell in and once it got flushed. They had to have people come get it out! lol No, we didn't use that again. Ewww.

Wow, I don't know what I would do if I had a two-year-old AND a two-month-old. Probably the same thing you're doing actually. ;-) Going crazy for some mental stimulation and needing a break. I was bad enough when I had just the two-month old. My daughter is 15 months now and I would definitely have my hands full with a baby and her. I still want another baby though...

I'm sooooo sorry about the root canal. I'm in the middle of one, too (okay, you said it first on my post, lol). A dentist appointment like that is enough to ruin my whole month - until it's all over with. I hope it doesn't take them too long to get it finished!

Oh man, the cat... I'm sorry you're having a hard time, but it's totally normal! Just having a baby and dealing with everything, adjusting to having two kids - it can't be easy.

Maybe your husband can help you get a break? Someone can take the kids for a day... or an hour? lol Things can only get better, right? :-) Okay, I so do not feel like anything I said was helpful, LOL. :-)

I'm going to subscribe and come back, though. :-)

Andrea said...

I know EXACTLY how you feel. THe first 3 months home with a 2 year old and a newborn are SOOOO hard. I can't tell you how many times I thought, "maybe they would be better off if I left, I'm so impatient with them...I don't want to damage my kids emotionally" ha ha...but honestly, I get it. I quit teaching voice to be with my kids. I WANT to be home with my kids, I do miss teaching but I know I'd miss them more if I went back.

I am starting a play group to meet with different Mom's I know from our church and anyone really in my area with small kids...so the kids can play and the Mom's can talk...inspired by Kelly Stamps of course. Maybe you could try to get some friends together (I'm going for once a month for the moment...not every week)for some sanity and to know you're not alone in these feelings?

I have so far really needed to hear that I wasn't the only Mom in the world who felt like she might be loosing it, and have such a short temper...especially with the two year old...sometimes I feel like her life must be horrible hearing me yell all of the time since I'm strapped to the couch with a baby attached to me nursing.

But...as they all say...it gets better. My youngest is 4 1/2 months now, and we're falling into a routine...maybe not time wise, but at least so that my toddler know what to expect. And most days I don't shower until after my husband gets home...and on days when the kids don't nap together the dishes aren't done, and no laundry gets done....my husband never gets home when he says he will...its also a sore subject with me...:-)

Mommyto3andahusky said...

I am sorry Carrie! Hang in there! :(

Carrie said...

Hi! I found your blog through Kelly's Korner. I totally understand your frustration -- I am a stay at home mom and I usually LOVE it, but some days are just hard! Just thought I'd say hey, and hang in there :o)