I wrote this post back in August of 2007 when Ethan was a newborn. Pretty much everything I said then is true again now. But that's not going to stop me from whining about it anyway.
How thankful are we that Vivian stayed put until 39 weeks! We're having so much trouble feeding her at this stage- I cannot imagine how hellish it would have been if she had been premature.
So the frustrating thing these days is that Vivian does not want to wake up to eat. Ever. Certainly not every 2 hours. The jaundice is making her very very sleepy, and she's pretty much out cold 23.8 hours out of the day. Makes for easy days between feedings, but very frustrating feedings. She also will not latch on to me for the majority of the feedings, so we're still pretty much pumping and feeding her a bottle. She'll nurse for 1 or 2 feedings out of the day, but not the rest of the time. When she does decide to nurse, she doesn't latch on well, so I'm in quite a bit of pain.
Last night was one of our worst yet. I got behind on my pain medications, so was fighting with a terrible headache, aching breasts, and this random pain in my side that feels like someone is stabbing me whenever I bend over or move too quickly in general. So when Vivian refused to eat at 2:30 AM, I just totally lost it. Daniel sent me to bed to sleep until the next feeding time and dealt with giving Vivian her bottle. Things are a little better this morning- especially since I've now had some coffee.
It's such a funny situation- I never really liked breast feeding Ethan, even when it did go well. But despite my not enjoying it, I'm not willing to give up on it so soon. The doctor was hopeful that once she gains some weight and gets rid of the jaundice she'll start eating better, so I guess we just have to stick it out until then.
Daniel heads back to work tomorrow and my parents arrive in the afternoon. Hopefully we'll get caught up on our rest a little then- he's going to start sleeping in Ethan's room and I'm going to try to sleep during the day while Mom and Dad entertain Ethan. Praise God for grandparents!