It was another looooooong morning today. Went in for my 9 AM NST, sat in the chair hooked up to the monitor. And sat some more. And then some more. At 10:30 the nurse said that the on-call doctor didn't like the strip, so they sent me to triage for more monitoring and an ultrasound. So then I got to lie on my side in OB triage for another hour, hooked up to the monitor. The baby of course, decided to wake up at this point and was having a grand old time. So the monitoring looked great! And then I got wheeled up to ultrasound (how weird was that, since I was dressed in my nice clothes and heels, being wheeled around in a hospital bed) where the baby, once again, aced her BPP. Then I was wheeled back down to OB and sent home. At 1 PM. To my home where my sweet, saintly husband had been trying to juggle work and Ethan all morning.
I don't stress when I'm at the hospital and when these things come up. There's just no point. But I am starting to get discouraged. My c-section is set up for June 1, and I have another 15 appointments between now and then. 15. Today was one appointment and it ended up taking 4 hours. I'm just tired of going to the hospital constantly and never knowing if the baby is going to cooperate and if I'm going to see my own doctor and, if not, whether I'll end up with a very cautious doctor or one of the laid back ones. Because, I guarantee you, if the Friday doctor had been on call today, I would have been home by 10:30 this morning. Different doctors in the practice have different levels of what triggers worry for them. I know that.
And you know what else? I am so sick of being pregnant and being on bed rest that I would LOVE for this baby to be born now. But then I feel like a bad mom for wanting that, because it's still early and she's better off inside for a while longer.
I'm going to blame the weather and my tiredness for all of this and am going to go find some junk food and use the rest of Ethan's nap time to read my novel. If chocolate and chick lit can't fix a problem... it's probably unfixable :)