Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This gave me a good laugh today

So, as I've mentioned (I think), my doctor is still out of town this week, so on Friday I'm going to be seeing the doctor that discharged me from the hospital last week. He seemed like a nice guy, but I was curious to find out more info (and goodness knows, I have spare time on my hands!) so I googled him today. And found this, which made me laugh out loud.

XXX and YYY studied modern dance at the University of Utah where YYY obtained a Masters Degree in dance. They had their own dance company and performed in the USA, Europe and India. After 12 years, they decided that they needed a profession and YYY entered medical college and graduated with honors. He is now with a hospital in Seattle, Washington where he does most of the surgery in an ob/gyn clinic. 

I mean, how random is that? "I think I need a real job, hey, I know, I'll go to medical school and become an obstetrician!"  One of the girls on the WW board suggested I ask him to explain the birth process to me in interpretive dance. 

I have no idea how I'm going to get through my appointment on Friday with a straight face. 

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Have I mentioned that bloggers totally rock? (and other randomness)

This afternoon, Ethan and I walked down the hall and rode the elevator downstairs to check the mail.  The last time I found checking the mail this exciting was when I was probably less than 12 years old, back in the day when the mail was full of fun and excitement and maybe a card from grandma. Not the influx of bills and junk that it becomes when one becomes an adult.  Even though the mail itself is still not very exciting lately, it's still an outing and requires wearing shoes, so is a major event for me. Last week I was very excited to see a box of baby clothes waiting for me that had been sent by a dear friend who has three little kids of her own. Her son's clothes made up about 75% of Ethan's wardrobe for the first year of his life, and now I have a big pile of adorable girl clothes waiting for New Baby.  

Anyway, today was  another exciting day in the world of mail. When the elevator doors open, I saw a box sitting by the mailboxes. And it had my name on it!!! I got the box and Ethan and the junk mail upstairs and excitedly opened it up and what fun! It was a box full of gifts from Erin, another mommy blogger!  She sent chocolate (I will not admit how much of of the chocolate I have already eaten...) and an adorable outfit and a blanket and this totally sweet bib that she stitched herself. The whole thing completely made my day. 

Here comes the randomness/pregnant brain rambling.  I keep trying to explain the blog world to my husband, but he just doesn't get it (I blame the fact that's he's over 40).  He is glad that I have my blog and my blog friends, but I know he doesn't understand that my online friends have also become my real friends, whether I've met them in the actual non-cyberspace world or not.  He was very confused last week when I had to update my blog before we went to the hospital- I knew that I needed prayers and support from you guys and that you would all want to know what was going on.   

So to all of you who have emailed me or visited me or commented or prayed or sent good thoughts for New Baby and I- thank you.  And thanks for keeping me a little bit sane and connected to the world outside of my condo walls. I appreciate it so much.  


I keep getting weird looks from the doctor's office when I go in for my NSTs. Because I dress fairly nicely (slacks, makeup, nice shoes) for my appointments, and then they look at my records and see that I'm on bed rest and look at me suspiciously.  I am not going to stop getting dressed up though.  When one spend 95% of one's time in the house wearing the only comfortable clothes one owns, one has to do what one can to stay a little sane. And for me that involves putting on makeup to go be strapped to a fetal monitor. 

New Baby tried to fail her NST again today, but the nurse finally got her buzzed and moving.  So that was good.  Then I was asking the nurse about scheduling my c-section, and she said that I couldn't, even though my doctor (who is still on vacation) assured me weeks ago that I would be able to by this point. As it turns out, my doctor still hasn't even put the orders in for that.  I mentioned that I would not be seeing my doctor this week, but would be seeing the physician assistant.  And the nurse thought this was a bad idea, given my high risk status, so she rearranged some stuff so that I will be seeing an OB on Friday.  Thankfully it's the OB who let me out of the hospital on Friday, so I'm okay with that.  The nurse also said that I really should be seeing the same person consistently, given my issues, which I agree with wholeheartedly, but there's not much I can do if my doctor goes on vacation.  

In other news, daycare did some schedule rearranging as well and made a spot for Ethan for two days/week for the month of May. Daniel and I both feel good about that solution, as it's less money than the three days a week, but still will be a help in terms of me resting and him not having to try to work from home while watching Ethan when I'm at all my appointments.  

So now it's back to resting. And trying to send telepathic messages to someone at my OB's office to let me schedule the c-section already.  Again, my type A personality coming out! Need plans!!! Need things on my calendar!!! 

Monday, April 27, 2009

Trying to learn some patience

Well, it's Monday early afternoon now, so I've made it through a little under 4 hours of bed rest/maternity leave/being left alone in the condo.  Daniel's off at work- probably being extremely grateful to be away from me for a while. Ethan's off at daycare, probably enjoying his lunch and some good times with his friends about now.  I miss them.  They were gone a lot of the weekend too- it was a beautiful, sunny weekend, so Daniel tried to get Ethan out as much as possible. We've always been the type of family to spend weekends together- running errands, going for walks, just hanging out, so it's a little strange to be left to my own devices so much of the time.

I know I'm going to look back on this time about 6 months from now and wish desperately for an empty, quiet condo for an hour or two.  Trying to remember that now.

Anyway, today is a day that I'm spending trying to get my brain focused on the right things- trying to remember why I'm home and what I'm supposed to be doing.  As I told Daniel, this is hard for me. I feel (irrationally, I know) guilty for being home and sitting around and not working and not taking care of Ethan and not really doing much in terms of cleaning or things like that.  It's hard to remember that my almost-full-time job right now needs to be relaxing and doing whatever I can to rest to get this little girl growing and give her the best start at the outside world.

But she's still sort of an abstract idea to me, so that's hard. And especially hard given my goal-oriented, check-it-off-the-to-do-list type personality. So I have to stop and remind myself  A LOT to lie down and stop trying to "do" something all the time. It's a challenge. 

I called to make my extra appointments this morning, as directed by the OB that discharged me on Friday. And discovered that my OB is going to be out again at the end of this week, so I wont be seeing her for another week and a half still.  I'll see someone else on Friday and I'm sure they'll be great and will do what needs to be done, but it still is strange to be going through all this and having no idea what my doctor thinks about any of it.  Given the completely different opinions that two of the doctors in the practice had last week regarding what should be done, I was kind of hoping to hear what she thought about the whole thing.  I do have a NST tomorrow and I might see her if New Baby doesn't cooperate for that (as New Baby has a tendency to do), so there still might be the chance to talk about it this week, but I'm trying not to count on it.

So that's my report from day #1 of maternity leave!

Saturday, April 25, 2009

People, I am NOT whining about pregnancy in this post!!!

We made it home last night and I managed to stay awake until 8 PM before falling over into bed :)  It was so nice to be home and sleeping in my nice bed next to my nice husband.

This morning I got up early to do laundry (no that is not against the bed rest rules), since I am never leaving the house with things messy, EVER again. Then we headed up to New Baby's first party! Our friends all showed up and things  were amazing, despite all the canceling and uncanceling that we did over the last few days.  We had a great time hanging out with friends and catching up on things. It was so nice to be out and spending time with them.  Since we already had most of the baby gear we needed, our friends asked if they could pool their funds and buy one big item, and we asked them to get a bassinet for the bedroom. It's portable and has all sorts of fancy features, and I think it's going to be great to have for the baby.  So nice of them  to get it for us! I'll post pictures when we get it set up.  We also got a beautiful homemade
 baby blanket, made by this lady, and an adorable outfit from another friend. 

Other fun stuff from yesterday/today:

I won these Monkey Toes shoes from this blog a few weeks ago and they were waiting yesterday when we got home. I can't vouch for them fitting yet, as I ordered ahead in sizes, but they are so
 totally adorable that I wish they were in my size! 

And I also had a box waiting with a sample pack of Mom/Baby organic skin care from Kimberly Parry, that I had won over at another blog.  Again, the testing of the baby stuff will have to wait, but one of the things I won was a sample of this belly butter, which I greatly enjoyed using last night on my rapidly expanding stomach. It's supposed to help prevent stretch marks, which I am definitely in need of right now! I'm one of those people who gets no stretch marks until the last month or so of pregnancy, but then they come on fast. Anything that helps is much appreciated, and this was a nice butter to put on. Good texture, good smell, not greasy. I highly recommend it. I will spare you all the photos of my stomach though. No one should have to see that that isn't getting paid to see it. 

The other thing that I have had now for a month and have been meaning to write about is this unbelievably cute set of birds made by my friend Lizzie. If you read her blog, you already know that she is ridiculously talented on the homemade crafts. I tried to convince her on Friday to open an Etsy shop, I think she would do well. Aren't these the cutest? She made one bird for each of us in the family, with New Baby's bird inside a little egg for now.  SO ADORABLE!!!

And one last thing that I've been meaning to write about and forget (darned pregnancy brain). I got a scrabble tile pendant from an Etsy shop a few weeks ago as well. I am loving these new tile pendants and have to restrain myself from buying new ones all the time. They are so creative and inexpensive, a great jewelry idea!  My current favorite is this one from Squishy Sushi. I get so many compliments on it, and I love it because it's a Lucky Cat picture, and I collect Lucky Cats, so it always makes me smile. And that's a great thing!

So a good day today. Ethan and Daniel have gone off to run errands now and I'm updating my pictures and blogs before falling over on the couch. I'm actually tired out now, which is very unusual for me.  Off to find something to watch on TV. 

Things I learned/was reminded of this week

1)  Whoever designed the maternity hospital gowns clearly hated women. Seriously, the only acceptable use for these things is to put them in a pile and burn them.  The lovely gown that I wore all day Thursday and until 9 AM Friday (when Daniel arrived with the pjs that I had forgotten) was the same style gown as the post-birth gown that I had worn after Ethan was born, over at an entirely different hospital in Seattle.  I was SO happy to see that they exist at my new hospital too! 

I should describe these things. They are not your typical open-at-the-back gowns, since they are designed for nursing. Instead, they have ties going down the front. This way all of your visitors get a nice little glimpse of the skin between the ties, running from your neck down to the top of the belly.   And they're in a lovely blue print with little flowers. And (are you ready for it?) THEY HAVE PUFFY SLEEVES.  My nurse said that they've been using them at this hospital since she started there in 1983.  My night nurse said that she recently came from the east coast and was horrified by them, since she'd never seen anything like them out there. So, Seattle ladies, we are unusually blessed.

2)  Doctors, even at the same practice, sometimes have very different ideas of what needs to happen for a patient's care.  I'll be phoning my regular doctor on Monday to make a bunch of new appointments and get her up to speed on things, although she'll have the notes as well. It'll be interesting to see what she thinks.

3) There really is no place like home. Especially when you leave your home early on a Thursday morning for what you think is a routine appointment, planning to return and deal with the multiple HUGE piles of laundry and miscellaneous cleaning that needs to be done. Which really hangs over your head when you don't get to return and are fearing that your in-laws are going to come stay at your house and think you're a terrible housekeeper.  

Oh, and home is a great place because my two favorite people in the world are here. Even if one of them is currently decorating the dining room table with yogurt. He's still a cutie. And that husband of mine- not one word of complaint throughout his own worries about me and the baby, and the stress of having to rearrange a very busy and deadline-filled work day and driving Ethan around and fetching things for me at home.  He did it like he does everything in life, with a heart full of love and a smile on his face. It humbles me to be around him.

4)  I truly do not stress about the big-picture issues.  I was praying for the baby and was comforted to know others were as well, but I was not stressed about the situation.  Do you know what I was stressed about on Thursday? Not having a computer and wondering how far I was getting behind on reading the blogs on my email and google reader. I KID YOU NOT.  That's how I work.  Yes, I think that I subconsciously was a little more overwhelmed than I realized, since I cried on Thursday night before sleeping, but overall I didn't stress.

5) We are blessed with amazing friends and family. So many people were praying and calling and worrying for us.  And I had people dropping by and bringing me treats and just keeping me company and taking care of my child.  And people that had planned my baby shower for Saturday were so kind about canceling it and then un-canceling it when I was unexpectedly freed!

*** Okay, the cutest thing ever just happened. Daniel was in our room sleeping, and Ethan was eating breakfast at the table with me. He stopped eating, said "Dada, please?" and got down and went to the front door. I told him Daddy wasn't out there, he was in the bedroom, so carried Ethan over to the bedroom. When he saw Daniel, he said "Dada!" and crawled in bed with him and started hugging him. HOW CUTE IS THAT???

I need to go start folding the huge pile of laundry. Then it's off to New Baby's party! Hurray!

Thanks again to you all for your prayers and comments and messages.  They meant so much to me. 

Friday, April 24, 2009

We are totally liking today's doctor the best!

So we have another new doctor on call today- still not my regular doctor, as she is out of town this week. But today's doctor looked at my charts and spoke with some specialists, and they all feel that it would be rushing things to deliver as soon as baby's lungs are mature. Even though she's small,and that's a concern, there are other things that the doctors also look at, and baby is doing fine in those other areas.

The newest plan (and we're hoping this one sticks!) is to give me the last shot tonight and then send me home. I'll have lots of extra monitoring and tests and we'll see how her growth is doing in another 2 weeks. There are some other issues going on as well, so the chances of us making it to 39 weeks (when we were originally planning for a schedule c-section) are still small but I got prayed out of here this week, so keep at it you never know! I will keep you all updated as we learn more over the next few weeks.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Thursday night

It’s been quite a day here! I dashed home from my appointments, packed my bag while Daniel got Ethan’s stuff together, then back to the hospital. Ethan was overdue for a nap and fell asleep in the car, so we decided it was best for Daniel to drop me off and take Ethan to our friends’ house. After wandering around a little bit, I found my room and got settled. They monitored New Baby for a couple of hours while I just hung out. Baby looked good on the monitor, so that was good news.

On a very random note, the dad of the friend who was watching Ethan today is here in the same hospital today, having a minor surgery. So her mom had some free time this afternoon while she waited for him to get through surgery, so she dropped by to visit! It was nice to have some company for a while and good to catch up with her.

Daniel got back mid-afternoon, and a couple of hours later, the nurse finally got pharmacy to deliver my first steroid shot, so we got going with that. On her visit, she mentioned internet, and I immediately sent Daniel home for one of our laptops. Now I’m back online!

So here’s what’s going on with the baby: The doctor came by today and said that I would have the shots today and tomorrow, with an amnio to check her lung maturity on Saturday. If her lungs are mature, then she’ll be delivered then. If not, then we’ll wait a bit longer. However, when the nurse came in, she said that the doctor had decided to wait and do the amnio on Monday, so I’m not sure what’s going on in terms of what tests will be done when and when we’ll have news. I think I'm going to be here for a while, regardless of the outcome, either to have the baby or to just be on strict bed rest.

Daniel’s gone home with Ethan now and I’m just hanging out here, catching up on the internet world. Thank you all so much for your messages and prayers, they help more than you know. I’ll keep you informed as I know more.

*** edited to add- in all the insanity about her size, I forgot to mention that they did a t/v ultrasound today to check my cervix, sin9ce New Baby likes to hang out too low to see it on the abdominal u/s. And my newest problem is a dynamic cervix. Sounds so fancy, doesn't it? Apparently it means that my cervix is opening and closing-even my internal organs have to be in constant motion :) It's not a big deal because I'm likely delivering soon, but it would have probably meant pre-termlabor as well. This kid is SO determined to be born early! She's anxious to see her closet of cute clothes!

Prayers, please.

At my ultrasound today it showed that New Baby has dropped down even further in size, just at the 5th percentile now. So, I'm being admitted to the hospital to get some steroid shots to try to make sure that her lungs are mature. The doctor said that's probably not even necessary, since I'm almost at 34 weeks, they just want to be sure that things are okay. I will have more tests tomorrow and there's a chance that the baby will be delivered this weekend, but we don't know for sure yet. Please be praying, but don't worry- as the doctors said, at this point if I went into labor on my own, they wouldn't stop it, and they aren't anticipating any health issues for the baby. We will keep you all updated.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

I got tagged

Since I got tagged by another blogger, and because I know you're tired of my insanity of late, I decided to participate in this 8 things questionnaire!

8 Things I am Looking Forward to:
1. The arrival of New Baby!!!
2. Breaking into my replenished stash of chocolate
3. My son learning more words that we can understand, so his every request isn't a giant guessing game ;)
4. Maternity leave starting next Wednesday!
5. Daniel getting home from work tonight
6. Ugly Betty coming back to TV next week
7. Watching The Unusuals online later this week (I have no life!)
8. Our baby shower on Saturday!!!

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Worked
2. Changed several dirty diapers
3. Set up my fancy new printer
4. Wondered who ate all the chocolate in our house
5. Enjoyed the sunshine coming in through the window
6. Checked email/facebook/google reader obsessively
7. Finished a book
8. Cried a bunch because I'm overly hormonal

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. See my feet
2. Convince Ethan to end a meal in some way other than throwing his remaining food, plate and sippy cup on the floor.
3. Take a trip
4. Go to Target... i miss it so much!
5. Stop crying ALL the time!
6. Suddenly become the type of person who has great ideas for dinner. And who remembers the existence of dinner before 6 PM
7. Walk more than 3 feet without getting out of breath
8. Not feel the need to obsessively check facebook/google reader/email to see if anything is going on anywhere

8 Shows I watch:
1. Ugly Betty
2. My Boys
3. The Office
4. The Unusuals
5. How I Met Your Mother
6. Big Bang Theory
7. Biggest Loser (during which I eat junk food and enjoy being pregnant and not having to lose weight at the moment.  That will end soon, sadly)
8. Little Mosque on the Prairie

Okay- the last question was supposed to be the 8 people I tag to answer this. But I'm too lazy and tired to think of people and put up links. So if you're interested, answer the questions and let me know you did!

Trying to draw you a picture of my emotional state....

Have any of you spent any time around an 11-12 year old girl lately?  You know how they have mood swings and cry at the drop of a hat and don't like anything that you suggest in terms of meals or activities or conversation topics?  Yeah, I'm that bad. I am not going to go back to my old blog entries to check, but I am 99% certain that I was not this insane during my last pregnancy. I know I was a little insane, but I definitely did not cry ALL the time. This is the thing that is bothering me most about being insane, as I am not a cryer normally.  I think I'm going to blame the fact that I'm gestating a girl this time. I think her hormones are messing with me somehow.

Okay, so last night, my poor sweet husband came home from a very long day at work, and I handed him Ethan and said "take him outside". Because yesterday was gorgeous, and poor Ethan kept going to the door and getting his jacket and trying to get me to unfold the stroller and take him outside. Which, not surprisingly, made me feel bad and cry.  Poor kid was stuck in the house with Crazy Mommy until 6:30, then he finally got to go for a walk. To the store to buy cat food, but it was still a walk.

I cried more last night to Daniel, after he had worked another 3 hours and was completely exhausted. Have I mentioned that he's a saint?  We knew we wanted to have kids close together for a huge number of reasons.  But when I got pregnant, Ethan was just a year old, and wasn't as much of a little person as he is now, if that makes sense.  Now he has more obvious needs and emotions, and I find myself really concerned about how things are going to affect him.  Most specifically, being stuck at home, in the condo with me for the whole month of May, if I have to stay on bed rest.  Which is doubly frustrating, because, let's be honest, bed rest with a toddler is a joke, so I'm not really resting that much, just not out of the condo and walking around. But I'm sitting up and on my feet a lot at home, which makes me feel like I'm not doing a good job of taking care of New Baby either.  Argh.

That was the gist of the crying to Daniel last night.  He suggested that we talk to daycare and see if they happen to still have a spot open for May, but that would be a huge amount of money, and since I'm about to stop work for the foreseeable future, I just cant handle that idea. Especially since we don't know if bed rest is going to last or if the baby is going to come early or what. 

Finally I stopped crying and let Daniel sleep, and I just started praying, mentally putting this huge pile of worry at His feet.  Because I know He loves Ethan and New Baby more than I do and is watching out for both of them.  And I was finally able to sleep a little after that.  I'm still feeling pretty overwhelmed and scared, but it's better. 

In other news, Daniel went to the store last night and saw Easter candy on 75% off clearance and didn't buy me any.  He said it was the same stuff I'd already bought.  Which I've mostly eaten already and am running low on. And since when does the presence of chocolate in the house mean that no more chocolate should be purchased?  He's such a strange man, that one. 

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Tired (whiny)

Last night I had a really hard time getting comfortable and getting to sleep. So I was up way too late. And when Mommy is up too late, it somehow sends a magical signal to Ethan to wake up early! And in a bad mood! Daniel dealt with the majority of the random screaming while I took a shower, but then he left us.  Stupid job.  Ethan cried when Daniel left this morning. I almost did. 

So now we're watching PBS kids while I try to come up with some energy and intelligence to figure out what we're going to do all day.  Unfortunately, it's a glorious, sunny day, the last in the forecast for a while, so I'm feeling guilty about Ethan being trapped inside with Mommy. I really hope that this bed rest ends soon.  I can't handle being stuck inside with him for the whole month of May.

In baby preparation news, Daniel assembled our double stroller this weekend, and it looks like it's going to work well.  We ended up with the ultralight Joovy Caboose tandem. Which we got for $100 off the regular price, thanks to someone on the WW board catching a sale online and mentioning it. I'm so glad!  After Ethan's done with daycare next week, we're going to clean up and sell his single stroller (**edited to add- we will still have an umbrella stroller for use when we just need to push one kid. No space to keep his fancy single stroller though).  So we're still slowly getting things checked off the list!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Family Movie Night FAIL

Our attempt at our first ever family movie night was an utter and complete failure.

When Daniel went to pick up my books at the library on Saturday, he also picked up the movie Bolt, which I've had on hold for a while.  We decided to wait and watch it when Ethan was around.  Our schedules all finally synchronized on Sunday late afternoon, so we popped the movie in the DVD player and all sat down.  We typically only let Ethan watch about 20-30 minutes of a DVD per day, and it's always been Little Einsteins or Veggie Tales or something like that.  But we figured one evening of watching a movie wouldn't hurt. And we didn't really think he'd sit still for too much of the show.

As the movie started,  Daniel happened to have the thought that we hadn't checked to see what the movie was rated.  But the DVD case was ALL THE WAY over on the entertainment center (about 5 feet from us), so we just decided that it must be rated G and didn't bother getting up.

The movie opens with big chase scenes with lots of motorcycles and lasers and helicopters and the cute doggie running around and occasionally getting cornered by the bad guys.  Ethan sat next to me and watched, and kept saying "oh no!" over and over.  But he says that constantly, no matter what we're doing, so I didn't worry too much about it.  After about 20 minutes though, he'd had enough of the noises and the doggie being chased by bad guys and he just lost it.  Sobbing, clinging on to me, repeating "oh, no" between sobs when he could catch his breath.

Daniel and I both felt about 2 inches tall. We quickly popped out Bolt and put in VeggieTales and prayed that we had not totally screwed up Ethan's little brain.  He seemed fine after that and slept well and woke up happy today, so the damage seems to have been temporary.  To Ethan, at least.

Things like this always seem to creep up when you feel like you're doing an okay job with parenting that week, don't they? 

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Baby's got a new pair of shoes!

So, you all know about my addiction to mommy blog giveaways, right?  Last weekend, I was just commenting to Daniel that I hadn't won anything in a while. Then Monday rolled around, and the emails started coming in. 
First I won some dishwashing tabs at this blog. Very useful!  
Then I won a mom and baby sample set of organic skin care here. So anxious for that to come, my pregnant skin needs help!
I also won a set of dip mixes from this nice lady. I'm going to have to throw a party so everyone can try them out!
So that was all making me happy.  But then, I got an email from this blogger, informing me that I had won a new all-in-one Epson printer! Which is so exciting, because it has a scanner function, and I usually do all my scanning at work, and was wondering what I was going to do after I went on leave. Oh, and we are running low on toner on our current printer, which is usually when we just buy a new printer. I know, not very earth-friendly, but usually more cost-effective.
And the week wrapped up with the news that New Baby had won a pair of very adorable shoes!! I went ahead and asked for the shoes to come in a size that she wont need until she's about a year old, because she has so many tiny shoes already. But I know they're going to look so cute on her when she grows into them!

I've put buttons on the right side of my blog for some of my favorite giveaway/review sites.  They're worth checking out, believe me. I probably spend about 30 minutes per day entering giveaways, but it's paid off hugely with some great prizes.  

Anyway, update on other stuff going on here. I'm kind of starting to dread Fridays, as that is my day to visit the doctor and for New Baby to have her non-stress tests.  Yesterday I ate a big breakfast, drank my morning coffee, drank apple juice on my way to the doctor... and nothing. I told the nurse that was hooking me up that the baby had been quiet that morning, and she made some comment about me needing to eat breakfast first. I assured her that I had. She then made the comment "okay, so we'll have you on here for about 20 minutes."  I laughed out loud at that, as I know how my offspring work when there are monitors attached to my abdomen.  Like the week before (and like her brother on every one of his NSTs), she would not budge. After about 15 minutes of that, they buzzed her and she moved a little bit. But not enough. Then I had to drink more apple juice. I don't know why New Baby didn't react to the sugar, I was shaking by this point, and I eat a lot of sugar!

An hour later my doctor came in and unhooked me and said that I needed to go to ultrasound for the other part of this test, the BPP. Just like the week before.  Sigh.  So I headed home for a few hours and tried desperately to get through the flood of emails about the report that we had going out that day.  Not surprisingly, my blood pressure right before I left to head back to the hospital was over the limit where I'm supposed to call and report it.  The ultrasound went fine, New Baby aced her BPP.  They did not measure her growth, but noted that her amniotic fluid has now gone from being too low back at 19 weeks to being borderline high.  Not a concern just yet, but yet another thing that they are going to be watching. 

So, after she aced the BPP I headed back to the OB's with the report, and mentioned that my blood pressure had been high at home, and maybe I should have a nurse check it while I was there. So the nurse had me sit in a little room and told me to relax for a bit, and then they'd be in later to check my blood pressure. Do you know what's the BEST way to stress out a type A person on Friday afternoon who has spent most of the day running from appointment to appointment and is now late to pick up her child at daycare? Tell her to sit quietly and relax!!! I don't do that under the best of circumstances!!! :)  It sort of worked though, because my blood pressure was down by the time they finally came in to check it, 20 minutes later. 

That's where we are now with this. 33 weeks pregnant. Starting to wonder how much longer this baby is going to stay put, since the list of things that can cause a baby to be born/need to be delivered early seem to be adding up. I figure the best way to combat this is to finish getting ready at home and work and to pack my hospital bag. Parental preparedness for birth usually seems to make the babies stay in until the due date or later :)

Well, Daniel's home from the library with my big pile of hold books, so I'm off to vegetate some more. Hurray for books!

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Two weeks left of work

I cannot imagine how one would survive bed rest without a computer.  I think I would have had to be committed to a mental institution right now if I was spending my days alone at home with no contact with the outside world.  Seriously, the internet and reading blogs and message boards and online shopping has been such a lifesaver.  I've also been getting a ton done for work, which is good, given that I am in the final countdown now (insert pause here to try to get the song, Final Countdown out of my brain). 

Seriously, I cannot begin to wrap my brain around the idea that my last day at work is coming so soon.  Probably not my last day of work ever, but the last for a while, at least.  So weird. 

I would love to be blogging here with news of all of the excitement that's going on in my life, but there isn't any. :)  Just lots of work, playing on the computer and begging New Baby to start catching some of these calories on their way from my mouth to my hips and butt. Seriously, I am such a hippopotamus now.  

Oh, I forgot!!! Resolution on the whole in-law/Ethan care thing!!!  Okay, so we discussed it for the one billionth time last night. And we decided that they will come the day before the c-section and will stay in a hotel room nearby, and I will attend dinner with them only if I feel like it.  Then they will stay here with Ethan for 2 days, leaving on the third day.  I'm not likely to be discharged before the 3rd day, so either I'll be coming home on the same day they leave, or the day after. Which means Daniel has Ethan-care covered for the first few days, when he most wants to be at the hospital with us, and will probably only need to be away for one or two nights at the very most, if all goes well. Phew. SUCH a relief.  You have no idea. Or, actually, you do,
 given that you've been living the angst along with me :)

I need to get back to working. Leaving you with a photo of me from Sunday, at 32 weeks and 1 day.  Even though this is my second pregnancy, I just cannot get used to what pregnancy does to the body. I catch glimpses of myself in the mirror when I walk past and am shocked every time. How can that be me? 

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Just want to apologize for whining

To those of you who actually still read and comment- thanks.  I know my blog is not the most inspiring place to visit lately.  I'm discouraged and tired and I know that comes through in my posts.  I'm okay, really, just feeling overwhelmed by things and it really helps to vent here. My husband is an amazing person, but he doesn't really do emotion :)  and so he is really out of his element when I get like this.  

I know we're going to be okay and it's all going to be worth it and I have SO SO much to be thankful for.  And I know I am incredibly blessed. But despite my knowing that, I'm probably going to fret and whine and feel sorry for myself on this blog for a while.  Bear with me, I'll have cute baby pictures for you in less than two months, and that'll be worth staying tuned in for!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Monday night

Crap, still Monday. I about wrote Tuesday night, because today feels like a Tuesday, for some reason. But it's not. Which is kind of good, because it means I don't have to work tomorrow, but kind of bad, because it also means that it is STILL Monday. 

I was grouchy today. And OUT OF CHOCOLATE.  Those two things are extremely bad to combine. But I made it through the day and only had one more little "discussion" with Daniel. This time about bed rest and how he seems to be taking it rather casually.  He pointed out that he knows that bed rest makes me miserable and he just wants to give me chances to escape, which is true, but I pointed out that I should not be escaping from bed rest, and that there's a reason that the doctor told me to do it.  And that I wont behave well if it's left entirely up to me. 

Okay, so people keep saying things like "oh, it's only 7 more weeks and then you wont have to be on bed rest anymore". Which is true, and New Baby will be here then and it'll all be great and worth it, but it's not like the light at the end of the tunnel is all bright and shiny. The light at the end of the pregnancy and bed rest and no trips to Target is having a newborn and nursing all the time, and trying to figure out her nap schedule and Ethan's nap schedule, and recovering from a c-section. So I'm not really looking at 7 more weeks of being stuck in the house, I'm looking at more like 11 or 12 weeks before I'll have the great freedom of venturing out into the world with TWO small kids.  I just wasn't quite ready to be done with the outside world yet, I thought I was going to have a bit more time to go places and do stuff with Ethan and Daniel before things got shaken up again around here for a bit.

No resolution on last night's "discussion". I have no clue what we're going to do.  

Seriously, why is there no chocolate.  This situation must be remedied soon. 

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I do not like people (who shall remain nameless) who go to sleep easily after a heated "discussion"

Seriously.  "Someone" in our house finished a "discussion" went and brushed his teeth, laid down and FELL ASLEEP. In like 14 seconds. What is that about?

The weekend went well overall.  I ended up cheating on the bed rest and tagged along for the Walmart trip. But before we went I reorganized my shopping list so that everything was listed by area, and I sorted through my coupons so that I would have the right ones and know exactly what I was after and there would be no forgotten items or backtracking. Shockingly, Walmart was not insane on a Saturday at 11 AM, even the Saturday before Easter. It confused me.  And perhaps lessened my hatred of Walmart slightly.

Now the double stroller is in the entryway, in its box. Next to the baby swing thing that I won a few months back. Which is also unopened in its box.  We are so in denial about our space issues and where we're going to put this kid.

Church today was fabulous. The music was great, the kids choir was adorable, and the sermon was wonderful.  The potluck was pretty good, although most of our friends didn't stay, and I didn't get to catch up with them. But I did catch up with one friend, so that was nice. Then I returned to my couch and bed. 

** Warning, irrational pregnant person blogging here. 

You're probably wondering about the "discussion".  Sigh.  It's an ongoing one. One with no good answer yet.  We're trying to figure out what to do with Ethan while we're in the hospital for New Baby's arrival. The plan as it stands now, is for Daniel's parents to come down and stay with him for the 3-4 days. Which would be a good plan if I was not a HORRIBLE PERSON who is freaked out by her in-laws.  Don't believe me? Read these posts here and here from December. 

I just cannot handle the thought of spending the night before the c-section with guests in my condo and having to sleep in Ethan's room on the Murphy bed (no, the in-laws couldn't sleep there), recovering from the c-section and having a brand new baby in my tiny condo, with my in-laws in the living room speaking Chinese loudly.  Or just being in my living room at all. Nothing personal, I don't want ANYONE around for more than 5-10 minutes when I'm recovering from major surgery and trying to help Ethan adjust and feed New Baby all the time.  Especially if she does end up as small as predicted- Ethan had to be fed every hour and a half. Which left about 20-30 minutes for sleep/eating/showering, etc. And that went on for two weeks. Not really when you want extra people in your teeny, tiny home.  They probably wouldn't stay long, but as we don't know when we'll be getting discharged, it would probably be a few days after we came home before we could work out the logistics of getting them back to Canada.

Daniel is not a fan of the idea of getting friends to watch Ethan during the day the first day and then him watching  Ethan after that, because he doesn't want to be away from New Baby and I while we're in the hospital. Not to mention we'd have to try to explain to the in-laws why we don't want them to come down, as discussed, and that can't end well...

So we're at an impasse and I'm tired and hormonal and stressed and freaked out and you name it. And I don't sleep when I'm upset, so I'm also annoyed that he went to sleep so fast! AHHH!!  

Friday, April 10, 2009

I really don't know what her problem is- I'm certainly having no trouble gaining weight!

Long week again. Not bad, just long.  Lots going on at work, lots of time spent trying to figure out how to find the energy to get my gigantic self up and moving to play with Ethan or pull him off of whatever he's climbing on or whatever.  Thankfully we had gorgeous weather on several days and were able to spend Tuesday morning enjoying the sunshine at a park with friends.  Ethan had a great time digging in the dirt- I'm going to have to find a good place for him to dig this summer. He's such a boy!

This morning I had my first non-stress test. New Baby (of course) decided that it was a wonderful time to fall into a very deep sleep. The nurse laughed when she walked in after 10 minutes and saw the flat line and almost complete lack of activity, as I had warned her that New Baby was a very inactive kid, and she hadn't believed me. She did after she saw the test strip. So New Baby got buzzed and Mommy got apple juice, then she spent the next 30 minutes alternating between squishing my bladder and going off the monitor. They finally gave up after 45 minutes and sent me on to my doctor. Who then STRONGLY suggested that I should not wait for next week for an ultrasound, but needed one that day.  So an appointment was made for an ultrasound (#8!) this afternoon. I waddled to work and tried to get some stuff done for a few hours, while Daniel frantically tried to clear his schedule at his office so that he could join me for the ultrasound.

Anyway, the ultrasound was mostly fine, New Baby passed the Biophysical Profile part of it with flying colors. And my amniotic fluid was good. But, her growth has dropped off a bit more since the last check almost 4 weeks ago. She's now down to the 9th percentile for growth, which is when the doctors have to start getting worried.  I'm not sure what her problem is, I managed to gain 5 pounds in 2 weeks. I need to figure out a way to funnel some of these cupcake/cake/cookie calories more directly to her.  Anyway, the radiologist sent us back upstairs to my OB, who looked at the report and said "back to bed rest".  Modified bed rest this time (yeah, like I was so strict last time), so I'm still planning on doing things like attending church on Sunday. I am not missing the Easter service and potluck! The doctor was very noncommittal about the length of this bed rest- I have a NST but no OB appointment next Friday, but might hunt her down in the office anyway.  

So this means no shopping tomorrow, and my list was getting very long, and we had plans to go to Walmart to pick up our stroller which just arrived. I'm going to have to start working on a very detailed (husband-friendly) shopping list, in the hopes that he can get a few of the things I need. 

In good news, today's ultrasound showed that New Baby has hair! So I plan to spend my bed rest time this weekend shopping on Etsy stores for hairbows. :) 

I need more cake. 

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

I'm even okay with the crankiness today

Seems like there has been a lot of sadness in the mommy blog world lately.  This family lost their 17-month old daughter Maddie yesterday.  This family said goodbye to their two year old Emily last week. Angie had to get through a tough day yesterday, the day that would have been her daughter's first birthday. And I think most of you are following MckMamma and her son Stellan and his battles with his heart problem and his continued stay in PICU. And I know there are so many more.  You are in my prayers.

It really puts things in perspective, doesn't it. Somehow the kicks to the internal organs and the temper tantrums because of a difference of opinion on how many crackers is really enough for snacktime... yeah, not so important. Ethan keeps wondering why Mommy is giving him so many kisses and hugs today. I know I'm so blessed to be able to do so. 

Monday, April 6, 2009

I think I need chocolate

People, it is sunny outside again! Yesterday was a GLORIOUS day. 70 degrees, sun shining. I was able to have all the windows open in the condo and get the air circulating. Even getting up at 5:30 wasn't too bad this morning, since it was all warm and summer smelling. I love the smell of the early hours of a summer morning. Which is good, given that I will likely be smelling a lot of them this summer. :)

We went and walked the 3 mile loop around Green Lake yesterday. It was fairly painful, as I'm big enough that my hips and lower back hurt while walking, but I made the loop and actually felt better in the evening than I have in a while. I think I need to start walking a little bit more and that I really need to do my prenatal yoga on occasion.

So I'm at work this morning, and I keep getting all emotional, because I'm going through medical records for a litigation case, and I keep running across birth records and thinking about New Baby's impending arrival. I really wish I knew when it would be- but I suppose most people don't know that and I'll still have the info on my kid's arrival date earlier than 90% of the population does. I've been pretty emotional about the whole thing whenever I think about it- for some reason the idea of having this baby is just as unbelievable and hard to grasp as it was the idea of Ethan's arrival. I just have no idea of how I'm going to handle two of them and where we're going to fit New Baby and all her stuff.

And of course I'm worried about Ethan and how he'll adjust and how I can make sure that he still gets the time and attention he needs. Oh, and to top it all off, I'm freaking out a little about the actual c-section. I was not conscious for the last one, so have no idea what to expect. And the idea of the epidural is freaking me out a little. It was one thing to get a needle stuck in my back when I was in the middle of labor. I think I would have chopped off an arm for pain relief if that was an option. But to get a needle stuck in my back when it's just a normal day with no pain or anything... yeah, I'm not sure about that one.

This week is the beginning of the NSTs- so that must mean the end is in sight. So now every Friday morning is going to consist of me going to the OB's office and being hooked up to machines to see what New Baby is up to in there. Ethan loved to sleep through his and ended up having to get buzzed with the baby buzzer every time. Hopefully New Baby will be slightly more cooperative :)

I'm going to have another baby in eight weeks. Wow. Yeah, I definitely need some chocolate now.

Friday, April 3, 2009

I think I might be wearing the ugliest pants ever made

When I went to bed last night, I laid out my clothes in a pile, with intentions of wearing a cute, but casual outfit to the office today. Then, when I actually got up at 5:30 and saw that it was snowing!!!!!! I went back in the closet and pulled out my newest acquisition- the full-panel maternity jeans. I'm only 5 feet tall, and I think with the panel, these pants are approximately 4 feet tall. And those are petite pants. Sexy. Not only are they full panel, but they're a lighter wash jean than I usually wear. But they were 1) $3 at Goodwill and 2) in my exact size, even the petite part and 3) I just could not handle wearing my unbuttoned jeans with a belly band anymore. Could not do it. So the world's least attractive pants it is. I've spent as much of the day as possible hiding behind my desk, so no one will see me.

So I've been feeling conflicted all morning. I had intentions of coming on here and whining about being 7 months pregnant and uncomfortable and about my husband (who is a saint, and I need to not even whine about him!). But then Maggie linked to my blog on her 7 quick takes post, and I suddenly have been getting lots of hits (Hi Maggie readers!) and I don't want to scare them all and make them think that all I do is whine about being pregnant. Of course, I soon realized that whining about pregnancy actually, in fact, IS all that I do on my blog and I needed to be real :)

It's Friday- the sun is finally out and the snow/rain is nowhere in the forecast for the next few days. In fact, I've heard rumors of high 50s and sunshine! We're driving out towards the mountains for a birthday party tomorrow, so I'm looking forward that drive in the sunshine. I have to figure out what on earth to get for Ethan's friend for her 2nd birthday, but hey, I have 26 whole hours left to worry about that.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Friday!

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

In which I escape for an evening out with the girls

Okay, so yesterday was like a totally gold star day all around. The sun was shining, Ethan napped for 2.5 hours and was in a great mood the rest of the time, there were no temper tantrums thrown by either of us, and Daniel made it home with the car 15 minutes EARLIER than I had requested. It was like a day in a parallel universe. And then, when I came out of the bathroom from getting ready to go out, this was the sight that I saw. Seriously, Husband of the Year or what? And you wonder why I've gotten pregnant twice in two years...

Okay, so then I left and sat in ridiculous Seattle traffic, but finally made it to Maggie's place only a little late. Where I promptly got lost trying to figure out which house was hers. But then, I saw her husband (who I recognized from her blog) walking down the street from the bus stop. And so I turned around and pulled up in front of the mailbox where he had stopped to get the mail, and rolled down my window and yelled (remember, I have NEVER met him) "Phillip- can you tell Maggie and Lizzie that I'm here?" He looked confused, but smiled and waved and said he'd send them out. Poor guy, he's probably not used to women in semi-minivan vehicles yelling at him out the window. :)

Anyway, we made it to the bookstore in plenty of time and staked out good seats before going to get cake. And it was good. We only made it through part of our slabs of cake before admitting defeat and boxing up the remnants to go. Then it was time to hear Dooce! Turns out she's one of those ridiculously unpregnant-looking pregnant people, who still look all tall and thin and glamorous, just with a perfectly shaped bump on front. Unlike some of us, who tend to look like small hippopotami. Anyway, I decided to forgive her her disgustingly prettyness and listen with an open mind. And her readings from her new book were hysterical. The best part of the evening, however, was the question and answer period, in which a man got up and told Dooce that she had scared the um, snot, out of him regarding post-baby sex. And when a very sincere, very nice lady got up and gave Dooce a small purse that she had made that was a very realistic representation of a female body part that I'm not going to name here on my family-friendly blog. Seriously. A purse.

Then we stood in line and chatted about lots of stuff while waiting to meet Dooce. All in all, a great evening at the end of a great day. And I even stayed up past 9 PM, for the first time in weeks!