We'll see how much I have the energy to type this morning. Pretty much running on empty right now. New Baby has decided to focus all her fetal energy on her favorite hobby, kicking/punching Mommy's cervix. So it hurts every time I move. I've reached the point in pregnancy where it's utterly inconceivable that I have months left still to go. 2 months and 3 weeks, to be exact, but who's counting, right?
The Portland trip went well, just tiring from all the family togetherness in such a small space and all the driving and sleeping in beds that are not my own. I held it together fairly well, except for Friday night. When we had a family dinner (so I knew everyone except one uncle's girlfriend), and for some reason my bad driving was yet again the topic of conversation.
Which meant I had to hear my grandmother comment AGAIN on how I drove too fast on a trip that she and I took almost 8 years ago. I keep pointing out to her that 1) we were in Wyoming, where there are no other cars and the speed limit was 75 and 2) I had just been dumped by my boyfriend and was driving cross-country with all my belongings to move to Seattle, where I knew no one, and was perhaps not having the greatest week and did not really want to linger in South Dakota and Montana and spend extra time enjoying the "sites". Apologies to anyone from the middle of the country, but I am not an outdoor/nature girl, so all those middle states just scare me and I just wanted to get to Portland and drop her off and then get to Seattle as fast as humanly possible. Which I have pointed out approximately 50 times before. And which would probably not have bothered me under normal circumstances, but these are not normal circumstances. There really should be a statute of limitations on family stories. Like after 5 years, it cannot be discussed ever again. Something like that.
Then my dad made his usual joking comment about "not being allowed to be at the birth of the grandchildren." Which really upset me, but I didn't say anything until we got home the next day. He keeps making that joke, and it hurts my feelings. Yes, I asked them to come after the birth both last time and this time, because with Ethan I didn't know when he would be born and didn't want them using up their vacation time before he showed up and with this baby, I'm going to REALLY need help in the weeks after her birth, so have asked them to come then.
Again, things they know, but which he likes to joke about. I finally told them how much that hurts my feelings and how it makes me look bad to the whole family, and I think he'll stop phrasing it that way. Mom did say that she was hurt by a comment I made once about not allowing them to be "there" even if they lived closer. I think that was a misunderstanding- I was meaning that they couldn't be in the room (which they agreed they wouldn't have wanted) and they interpreted it as them not being allowed anywhere around at all.
Seriously, adulthood is freaking complicated! Daniel and I went out to dinner Saturday night after I got back to Seattle, and I whined and cried about trying to keep everyone happy and balance being a daughter/granddaughter/mother. It's awfully tough, especially when dealing with things like wanting to have family around after a baby's birth while protecting our time with our new child and my need to have quiet and space to recover from the c-section and all the normal aftereffects of childbirth. I'm still not sure how we're going to handle things with Daniel's parents, who will be here taking care of Ethan during New Baby's birth, but who I really don't want hanging out in our small condo with us after we get home from the hospital.
Oh, this blog entry is far too long. Sorry about that! Hope you all had a good weekend!