Monday, January 19, 2009

Thoughts on being the mom of a boy

No whining about bed rest today. The sun was shining and the sky was blue, so I enjoyed the view through the window today and was in a good mood. And snuck off the couch to do laundry and some VERY light bathroom/kitchen cleaning. Seriously though, it hurts to lie around all day and I refuse to believe that a 10 minute foray off of the couch to the kitchen or bathroom (neither of which are more than about 12 feet from the couch, given that our condo is tiny) are going to have that much of an effect on my fluid levels. 

Daniel and I spent the morning and early afternoon tag-teaming naps.  Ours, not Ethan's.  We were both pretty worn out, since Ethan's teething and learning to walk simultaneously, both of which have shot his sleep schedule all to pieces.  So Ethan had another glorious morning of doing whatever the heck he wanted and watching Little Einsteins, while we napped.  Then Daniel did an amazing job of vacuuming. The man is incredible. I vacuum on rare occasions. Very rare. And when I do, it's usually just the high traffic, toddler-accessible, visible, areas of the condo. But Daniel moves furniture. And the stuff that is stored under the furniture. It's so totally clean in here, it's amazing. And we disinfected everything that anyone in this home has touched lately, hopefully we'll get the last of the germs out of here. So it smells a bit like a hospital room, but looks clean, so I'm happy.

Have I mentioned how incredible it is to watch Ethan these days? I have loved him since the day he was born, but I find that I enjoy being around him more and more every day, as he's growing up and developing more of his own personality.  It's so incredible to see him as a little person. One with a frightening number of my personality characteristics, but his own little person just the same.  I think that watching him take his first steps has been especially emotional for me. Not in a bad way, just different from the other things he's done. Because so many things that babies learn to do, they figure out by accident. But walking takes something more, a sense of courage for them to stand up and let go of the solid object that they trust in. He's been taking steps for a few days now when we hold him up and let go, but yesterday and today I've seen him do it all on his own. Watching his little face as he stands and holds on to the table and builds up his courage- seeing all those thoughts go through his little mind- it's just amazing.  

I know I'm going to have a lifetime of watching him take steps. Steps that I can encourage him in, but he's the one who has to find the strength in himself to do what he needs to do.  It's humbling to be blessed with this kind of responsibility, this little person to raise and encourage and cheer for.  And I know that a large part of the type of man he will become is going to be due to my actions and words as he grows up.  Kind of intimidating, especially as a woman with only the vaguest of vague ideas as to what goes on in a man's mind and what they need for life.  Fortunately he has a heavenly Father to follow as well as a pretty amazing dad. If he grows up into even half the man that his daddy is, the world will be a much better place for it.  

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