Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Apologies in advance

I really need to vent today.  Feel free to skip reading today. 

I've planted Ethan in front of a VeggieTales DVD so I could get back to couch-rest, rather than spending my time trying to convince Ethan to color on the paper instead of the leather couches and ottoman.  What did people do before DVDs?  Of course, I'm feeling guilty about letting him watch TV, even though I know I need him to be occupied so I can rest up for the sake of his little sister.  She's -4.5 months old and I'm already feeling conflicted about how to best take care of two kids at once!!! I really thought I had at least until she was actually born before these things became a problem.

It's been a long day. Actually, not really, it just feels that way.  Daniel went off this morning with my disgusting jug of urine in a bag to drop off at the doctor's office. That went well. Then he blindly followed the GPS's directions to his office, even though it was sending him a random direction, and so he sat in traffic for 1.5 hours and got there late again. Which means he's not going to be able to leave at a reasonable time, so I'm home alone with Ethan until late. I'm really struggling with Daniel's job this week- I know we're blessed to have it,  and I know that his deadlines are real, but it's also a week that I really need Daniel at home.  He tried working from home yesterday, and it was terrible. Ethan is in a major Daddy stage, so if Daniel's home, Ethan wants to be playing with him or sitting on his lap or having Daddy read him a book. He does not want Daniel to work or take phone calls, and if Daniel leaves the room, we have a meltdown.  Which, truthfully, is more stressful than just dealing with him alone.

So really, there's NO good answer here. Either he misses work at a crucial time for the company and jeopardizes his job, or I have to take care of the toddler and not do the bedrest that I need to do for the sake of our new baby.

Thankfully, one of my friends came over this morning to hang out with us. She spent several hours with Ethan and her daughter playing, while I got to lie on the couch. Then she served lunch and left at naptime.  It was really funny when she left, sort of like something from a tragic movie, based on the crying of the kids when they were parted.  

(I'm going to totally have the Water Buffalo song in my head ALL evening now.  I used to love that song, but it's been ages since I heard it. Sadly, I still remember all the words!)

Of course Ethan decided not to nap much today.  I'm scared it's because he's getting Daniel's cold. Oh yeah, Daniel's sick! I left that out.  So I've spent the last few hours trying to keep him occupied with things that keep him contained in a small place and lifting him as seldom as possible. He did finally start walking yesterday, just a few steps, but there's hope! He's so cute and completely enthusiastic about walking now. Too much so actually, he walks a few steps, then launches himself at the person/item he's after and then falls down. But he's getting there.

Anyway, at one point Ethan was coloring and I just sat down on the couch and cried.  I still haven't heard from the perinatologist's office about when my appointment there is going to be- and I need to know so that we can figure out car/toddler logistics for that.  I did call and leave a voice mail with the office, so hopefully soon I'll know more about that.

I've felt the prayers of my friends and family, there's no doubt about that. God's really blessed us with a lot of peace about this whole situation. I know my daughter is in His hands, and there's no better place for her to be.  But it still gets really overwhelming at times. 

(Okay, no matter how sad I am, the Song of the Cebu is making me smile. I love this DVD!)


Jill said...

Girl, I know you are about to lose it just lying around. I am praying for you and your family daily. Baby girl is already getting your attention and your little boy will get used to the rest and this might make it easier when she gets here, he will be used to sharing!! God Bless!!

mamikaze said...

Bed Rest with a toddler is difficult. Color Wonder by Crayola helped a lot. I could let Fluffy color and not worry about her destroying my furniture is I dozed off.

Let me know if you need help getting to the doctor. I could use a reason to come into the city.