Sunday, December 14, 2008

My last Christmas gift vent, I promise

It snowed last night. Not much, but enough to get the roads wet and then it didn't get above freezing this morning.  This means, of course, that we did not leave the house for church this morning. Which is too bad, because we were in nursery all of November and out of town last week, so haven't been in services in 6 weeks.  And I can feel it!  But the side roads reportedly were icy, so we didn't want to risk it, given our total and utter lack of recent winter driving experience. We're definitely Seattleites.

So we're home today, doing laundry and cleaning up the piles of stuff that we left sitting around yesterday. Daniel and I are both obsessive neat freaks, so it speaks volumes about how tired we were yesterday to leave our condo messy overnight.  

And I was wrapping presents this morning that we bought (on behalf of Ethan's grandparents) for him for Christmas.  Then Daniel started doing something on the computer and I found out that he was looking at phones for me for Christmas.  In the $100+ range. Okay, hear me out before you think i'm insane here.  Last month, after MONTHS of begging him to tell me what he wanted for Christmas, he decided that we should save our money and put it toward a kitchen floor/counter re-do instead of gifts.  You can read about it at the link.

Anyway, I was disappointed, but decided that it would be the responsible thing to do, so just bought Ethan some small gifts and got Daniel some stocking stuffers and one $20 gift.  Which isn't anything too exciting, but it fit in the "really small gift" budget.  So I was done with the Christmas shopping and was happy.  Then I find him looking at gifts for me that are 1) nothing I desperately need (but want, I hate my phone) and are 2) nowhere near our budget. And now he's waivering on the whole kitchen thing.

(Please, still stick with me here).  I like getting presents. But more than that, I really really really love giving nice presents to people. And I have NEVER been able to get Daniel anything that he really likes.  I'll buy him things that are okay, but that he just ends up stashing away somewhere and forgetting about.  He never seems to want or need anything.  I beg for months before every Christmas and birthday and anniversary for an idea. Any idea. Or a specific. Anything. And he never comes up with anything. And this is so frustrating, because he is a wonderful husband to me and dad to Ethan, and I just want to get him something to thank him.  And instead I just end up buying things that are okay.  Meanwhile, he goes out and buys great gifts for me, usually because I tell him exactly (or close) what I want or would like.  

And buying a phone for him had been my idea, because he really needs a new phone more than I do. But he told me last month that it was too much money and that he didn't really need one.

I yelled at him this morning and told him that he couldn't go around changing the rules less than two weeks before Christmas, and that he wasn't allowed to buy me a phone. And I told him again how important it was for me to buy him something, anything that he likes, but he just stared at me blankly again.

I'm crazy, I know.  I just feel so often like Daniel takes such good care of me and I don't do nearly enough to spoil him back. I try, I promise, with lots of little things, but I just want to occasionally be able to make a bigger gesture of love and thanks.

I think I might blame all this on being stuck in the house with piles of laundry. A walk will be taken later today, despite the 12 degree (with wind chill) weather. I don't think an entire day in the condo would be good for any of us!

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