Monday, October 20, 2008

I really want to just go back to bed now

We had fun this weekend telling people about our upcoming addition to the family. Busy days on both Saturday and Sunday, but we got to see a lot of friends, so that was good. Pretty much the whole weekend was great until Daniel decided to bake salmon last night, and I nearly vomited from the smell. Good times. It was about 50 degrees in our condo for a lot of the evening, while we tried to de-fish-smell the condo by leaving all the windows open. Further cooking of fish has been banned until further notice.

Anyway, it was a good weekend and I was starting to relax. Even mentioned to one of my coworkers that I was pregnant on our way over to get flu shots this morning. Which didn't hurt at all. I was impressed!

Then I got back to the office and had an email from the doctor's office with a complete report on my ultrasound. And I apparently have a small subchorionic hemorrhage. Which is apparently associated with an increased risk for miscarriage, particularly with bleeding prior to 8 weeks. Sigh.

I'm only 7 weeks into this and I'm already feeling pretty worn down from all of this. The spotting, the subchorionic hemorrhage, the blood pressure. I see my OB for the first time on Wednesday, so at least we'll have someone to talk to after that. Until then, just trying to hold it all together and be somewhat productive at work. Not doing so well on that front.

I know this is all not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, and people are in much worse situations all over the world. But it's hard to remember in the middle of it.

Just praying a lot.


BJ said...

((((((Carrie)))))) You know what? This IS a big deal in your personal grand scheme, so don't feel like you need to de-justify (I don't think that's a word, but whatever.) your emotions. I sort of feel like you need to be given permission to feel worry and permission given. (like it's my business. :P ) Babies and Momma's connect right away, and just because someone may have died in a bombing today or many people are being treated for cancer....this is big. Please allow yourself the room to feel it. No apologies ok?! I will be praying. I had a m/c between my girls - so I already had four! - and it was still a very difficult thing to go through. I pray you won't go through it, but that doesn't mean the concern isn't valid. If it threatens to overtake you, try to find some soothing worship music, and just throw it all at the Saviour's feet - He has a wonderful plan for you and your whole family, and that includes New Baby. Emote as necessary, without apology.

Ashley said...

Good luck! I really hope everything goes well for you! I can see why it would be very scary and draining, for sure.

Eve said...

AAAA! Pregnant again? Congratulations Carrie! That is so exciting. And just to let you know, I had one of these as well with my second child. She is now a healthy almost 5 year old. But I'll keep you in my prayers.