Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Time to focus on marriage

I've been thinking a lot about my marriage lately.  I'm so blessed to be married to my best friend, I was single until my late twenties, and really thought that I was going to stay that way, so it was quite the happy surprise to meet Daniel and fall so much in love with him. And we've been blessed to have a fairly easy time of things so far- we have very similar perspectives on life and family and money, so we havent had to deal with many conflicts.

But lately our marriage has kind of fallen off of our radars, in terms of something to put our time and energy into.  His new job is great, but it's taking a lot of his energy. And Ethan's teething (when are they not teething!). And the other one million things that are just part of life, but that take up the last bit of energy every day. We're functioning in that "roommate/friend" mode that is so easy to fall into in marriage.  Nothing is wrong per se, but things could be better. 

So I'm trying to figure out easy ways to get the romance and fun back into our marriage. Things that don't require much time or money or energy, because we have little of any of those things left.  I know this is important and that, other than our individual relationships with Christ, our marriage is the most important part of our lives and the foundation of our little family.  And I'd really like to get things a little bit back on track before I get pregnant again, because we all know that that is NOT going to help the situation. 

I think I'm going to dust off some of my Christian marriage books this afternoon if Ethan takes another nap and will see if I can come up with any ideas. But if anyone out there has any suggestions for me, I'd love to hear them. 


carrie said...

Oh, I know what you mean. Life can get so busy and when there's nothing wrong, per se, w/your marriage - it's easy to kinda ignore the romance and everything.

Setting up a late night picnic w/candles on your living room floor once a week and cozying up to watch a movie together is always nice (and cheap)! Don't worry, every marriage goes thru this kind of stuff! It's NORMAL!

AZMom said...

I hear you. My husband and I keep falling into that roommate thing too. It's hard and we are working on it as well. Add in problems with our son and it is not an easy spot to be in.

I wish you luck! If you get any great suggestions, please post them!

Cori said...

We have a six-month old, so most Fridays we watch movies and eat pizza after she goes to bed as our "date night." This weekend we left her at Grandma's for a couple hours and went out for dinner and played air hockey at Gameworks. "Little" things we do that you may already do are kissing each other on the way out the door whenever one of us leaves, praying together every night before bed, and a brief phone call at work every day to check in and say "I love you."

Naarski (the Mrs.) said...

This is so normal but you have to make an effort to get out of the funk-it is good your ecognize this. My hubby and I need to go "out" for a date night to bring back the romance. Being out of the house really keeps the home/kid distractions from ruining the romance. We usually go for a nice dinner or even a nice long walk.

Anonymous said...

Agreed on the "normal" thing. It happens, especially with the small-kids-in-house thing.

We honestly had to schedule it. Not just The Act, but time together. We didn't need months in advance and firm reservations, but no later than sometime in the early afternoon to say, "Hey, tonight, after the kids are in bed, let's... hang out." Even better a day or two in advance. Because otherwise it's just too easy to slide into the separate activities, and too easy to say, "No thanks," in the moment.

I've been trying to get pregnant for nine months now, and we have reached the point of medication and actual scheduling of The Act, every 36 hours for about a week and a half. Surprisingly, it's been going pretty well, not yet feeling like a total drain or too boring... it's amazing how much more motivated I become as time wears on without that positive pregnancy test...

(P.S. Not usually this babbly in comments, but I am fried from some difficult weeks at work and yet physically wide awake. Verbal diarrhea, I think.)