Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Contemplations

1) How is it that instant oatmeal is so very disgusting, but real steel-cut oatmeal is actually very yummy? And how did I manage to make it through 31.5 (oh my goodness, I'm getting old...) years of life without knowing that?

2) Why am I blogging when I should be a) working and b) making sure that we have thought of everything for my baby's first birthday party on Saturday. To which we now have 27 adults and 9 children coming. And that is the pared-down guest list.

3) Can I talk Daniel into letting me have sushi again for dinner tonight, even though we just had it last night? It is going to be 90 here today, which means our living room/kitchen will be unbearable tonight, and I don't want to cook.

4) I think I've figured out a lot of the issue with my moods lately. I'm just feeling a little lost in terms of purpose. I am a VERY goal-oriented person. I've always had a plan for my life or something I was hoping for. Graduation from high school, college, mission work, grad school, job, marriage, baby... there's always been something to hope for or work on. But now I've done all those things, and it's just a matter of improving things and continuing on the same path. Which is deathly dull to me. I am not only goal-oriented, but I have the attention span of a gnat. My one-year old has a longer attention span than I do. As I've mentioned before, I never just relax, I have to be doing something. On the weekends I have to bite my tongue about 10 times a day, because I desperately want to bug Daniel about making a to-do list and a schedule for the day. I NEED PLANS!!!

I know this all probably seems silly. I just need to figure out who I am now, and what it is that God has for me in His plans. Besides learning to be a much better mother and much much better wife. Two very important areas where I have not excelled lately. And I think I need to find things to be involved with other than work and cleaning the house. Maybe if I had more outlets for my energy, then I would have less time to worry about things.

It's funny, you never imagine when you're young that you will understand less about life and yourself as you get older. I had things pretty well figured out at 25...

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