Thursday, July 10, 2008

Things I am trying not to think about

This past weekend, when we were up at my in-laws place, I looked over at Ethan sleeping in his pack n' play, and realized "my baby is no longer a baby!" And that's pretty much been thought #1 since then. And today he turned 11 months old, which means... in 24 minutes, it'll be LESS THAN ONE MONTH UNTIL MY BABY IS A YEAR OLD!!!

Yeah, everyone talks about how fast it goes, but it's hard to understand until you're living it. I came out here to the living room and turned on the computer to try to distract myself, but made the mistake of opening my email, where the helpful weekly email proclaiming "Ethan is 11 months old!" was waiting. Great.

Which brings up thing #2 that I am trying not to think about. What to do about planning for baby #2. We've talked a ton about adoption, but Daniel started wavering on that idea back when Ethan was about 3 or 4 months old. After we got through the crappy pregnancy and scary delivery and those first few months when he was so very tiny and eating every hour and a half and honestly, fairly dull. I managed to not get baby fever until much more recently. But now it's there. I still really like the idea of adoption, but I'm not sure if it's something that we should even contemplate doing if we aren't 100% committed to the emotional energy it would take. And there's the whole fact that we really wanted to adopt from China, since Daniel's Chinese, but now the waiting list is so long, and we don't really like the idea of 1) waiting 4 years or 2) jumping the line (as we could, since Daniel was born in Hong Kong) and taking a spot from someone who has been waiting a long time and who might not have any kids at home.

And let's round off the middle of the night musings with thing #3- I am so grateful that God blessed us with a new job for Daniel so quickly and it's going to be great, but what the heck am I going to do without Daniel home all the time! I've gotten so spoiled so quickly, having such a helpful husband around who has taken over so much of the housework and baby care. I do not have the energy to deal with my little crawler on my own! I'm going to have to seriously stock up on coffee and diet coke, that's my only hope!

Okay, I'm going to go play computer games and veg now. Enough deep thoughts for one night.


maggie said...

We were having the same thoughts on adoption. Same place, same reasons, same everything. And now I've spent a lot more time in the blogosphere and know how hard it really is!

Yay for the job!

Ashley said...

I hear you! My baby was a VERY difficult newborn and we basically had to force her to eat and she never wanted to breastfeed. It was so stressful and such a struggle that I didn't have baby fever for a long time. Now that she's over a year old, I'm starting to feel a little braver about it. I definitely want more kids, but it's scary to think of taking care of another newborn too!

Lizzie said...

Great news about Daniel's job! Congratulations to him.