Tuesday, April 8, 2008

The blame game

I was reading my blogs the other day (oh my goodness, you guys are so great, but boy do you suck up a lot of my time!) and came across this entry. And it (as usual with this blogger) broke my heart. After I read it, I was telling Daniel about the post and how it hurts sometimes to be a mom and to feel so much guilt over things we have no control over. Like having to have a c-section- maybe I should have just pushed harder, and maybe I could have gotten through the back pain and not had general anesthesia so that Daniel could have been there. And maybe if I'd done something different when I was sick last week, my milk supply wouldn't have vanished. And on and on and on.

WHY do we do this? Apparently dads don't have this issue as much as we do. Daniel just stared at me in confusion when I was talking about the other blogger's guilt and about my feelings of guilt about various things. As if being a mom isn't hard enough without sitting around worrying about past decisions and events that were likely out of our control to begin with. I wish I didn't do this so much. And I wish I could fix it for every other mom that I hear expressing these feelings and just hug them all and say "it's okay- you could not have done anything differently. You are amazing and strong and you are doing a good job." But I cant.

In other more cheerful news, we went to Target today. I love Target. Ethan loves Target too. It's the best. And it's so much fun to go to on weekdays, since everyone is there with a cute baby or toddler. It's like a baby parade with fun, affordable products. Sigh of happiness.

Oh, sounds like I have a dirty diaper to change! Better go deal with that.

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