I'm trying not to talk out loud too much today to my husband, for fear that I will make his head start spinning with all of my random switches in emotions and plans. It's just safer for him this way. Which means... I'm going to blog about it instead!!! :)
Okay, so yesterday I got up and worked (I'm working from home this month, since I'm not mentally prepared for pumping in the office and no one really cares where I am anyway, as long as I actually get my work done). Then Ethan woke up and I fed him and changed him and we took him down to daycare. He's in the new infant room at daycare, with just 3 other babies. All girls. He was thrilled, as he's quite the little ladies man. He went happily to the daycare lady, then was all settled in quickly, so we left. And came home and worked and got the vaccuming done! I went to get him two hours later. And found him crying in his crib, because it was naptime and he was exhausted, but he 1) hates naptime and 2) was in a strange place and couldnt sleep.
So begins the headspinningly confusing emotional road that I'm on. The daycare lady said that he had a great time the rest of the time. I know he was just tired. He does that freak out every day when I try to put him down for his nap. And I know that he needs to learn to nap without me going in and patting him every two minutes, and then getting him up (sans nap) when I cant stand the crying anymore. But my baby- he was crying! And I wasnt there!
And then there's the whole solid food issue. Oh my goodness, I had no idea how complicated starting solid foods is! I need a chart to keep track of what I'm supposed to be feeding him and when. Actually, there are charts, but I'm not smart enough to understand them. And I have a master's degree in science. But seriously, I'm so utterly confused. And I need to figure it out by like tomorrow, so I know what foods to take to daycare with me and leave for Ethan. I was doing solid food at night, but that's apparently not right and I need to do it at lunchtime, but he's not home for lunchtime 3 days a week.
Maybe I should just quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom. I'm certainly not going to be bored anymore. He's out of that boring baby stage and into a fairly high maintenance baby stage. With the playing and the rolling and the solid foods.
So, we're one day into this, and I am more confused that ever about what to do. Tomorrow we'll give this daycare thing a try again- probably for about 4 hours this time. Hopefully it'll go well.