Monday, April 30, 2007

Home again

It's Monday morning, I'm back at my own desk, typing on my own computer, being very very grateful that my email box is staying empty and people seem to have forgotten about my existence. Because I am in a mood. A bad one. Because somehow in the last week, I turned into a creature about the size of a hippopotamus. No, I still don't look pregnant, really. I still haven't "popped" and have no cute little tummy. I just have a little baby bump and then above my "waist" I have a roll of fat made out of the fat that used to reside down lower and up higher, which has been compressed into its current location by the upward migration of my stomach and the downward movement of my breasts. I am not amused. I've cried the last 3 mornings when I tried to find clothes that fit. Even the ones that seem to fit don't really fit correctly, due to the odd bulges that I've developed.


My solution for this? Eat a 100 Grand candy bar that was waiting for me at work this morning. How's that for logic.


We had a good time in Boston last week and a fairly good trip home on Saturday. We did end up stranded at the airport for an hour and a half, while trying to get a hold of the parking lot people. That went over about as well with me as you can imagine. But we finally got our car and got home to our fuzzy kitty cats. Who were "cat-happy" to see us. Which means I got scolded a lot, glared at, and shed on. I missed my furbabies, so I was happy to put up with the punishment from them.


The most exciting part of the weekend was picking up my diaper bag, which had been delivered to work. I love it so much! It's a Bumble bag- very practical with lots of different ways to use it, and not overly girly, so Daniel can carry it if he needs to (he does have his own bag too though). And, in other exciting news- some wonderful friends of mine have offered to host a baby shower for me! They're so sweet! I'm very excited about having a shower. VERY.


Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Blogging in Boston

It's Wednesday, so this must be Boston. Daniel and I got up bright and early Saturday morning and headed for the airport. Flew to Denver, where we spent a nice weekend in Denver/Ft. Collins visiting with a friend of Daniel's and met up with an old college friend of mine as well.

Then, Monday morning it was off to Boston. We arrived to 84 degree weather, so quickly dropped off our stuff and went out to wander around the city before meeting up with my coworkers for dinner. Yesterday I worked from the office while Daniel worked from the hotel, then when he was able to escape from conference calls, we again headed out. So that brings us to today. It's another sunny morning here, although the weather is expected to cool down and rain is on its way in soon.

In unrelated news, two wonderful friends of mine have offered to host a baby shower for me! I'm very excited about this. VERY.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Metal really DOES burst into flames in the microwave

So, Daniel came home last night. Then left again to go meet a friend for coffee. I did some laundry and cleaned, then finally settled down for dinner. A Lean Cuisine pizza. I found an old garlic butter sauce from Domino's in my fridge, so opened it to put on the pizza. Discovered it was solid (it's butter, after all), so took off the lid and put it in the microwave for 15 seconds to soften. Pressed the button and then watched flames LEAP up to the top of the microwave. Hurriedly pulled open the door and stopped the flames. Turns out there was the tiniest piece of the metal foil lid left on the rim, and that had ignited. I've never done that before! I think I shook for 30 minutes after that. Too much excitement for one day.

Last night Gray's Anatomy freaked out my beloved. There was a scene where one of the characters got an epidural. They showed the big needle. Daniel covered his eyes. I mentioned that, if I get an epidural when Lucky is born, that's what it'll look like. Daniel started shaking, much as I did after the microwave incident. He resumed the covering of his eyes, and looked like he was going to faint. So now we've made a deal that he gets to leave the room for any and all birth events involving any sort of needles. Poor guy. I think he's going to have a harder time with childbirth than I am. Hospitals, needles and blood are not his strong point. I really am not bothered by any of those (I worked as an EMT in college).

So, we're off to Denver and Boston tomorrow. We're looking forward to a change of scenery for a while. I'll post from Boston next week. Have a great weekend!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I find this fun

This morning I was riding the bus, and Lucky decided to give me a little kick. Nothing hard, his kicks are still pretty insignificant, unless I've been poking my stomach and trying to get his attention. Just a little kick, in my mind done to remind me that he's there. And it made me smile. Partly because to the outside world, it just looks like I'm smiling about something I see out the window, or at a funny memory. They cant tell that I'm smiling because a little tiny human being inside me just decided to make his presence known. And I find that fun.

Still nothing to do at work. I'm making lists of how to do the projects that I do regularly, that way I'll be ready when I escape from this madhouse- I mean, go on maternity leave.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

One of the nicest things in the world

I've decided that one of the nicest things in the world is the feeling of my husband rolling over and hugging me in the middle of the night. And then rolling back to his side of the bed, where he belongs, so that he doesn't disturb my carefully arranged pregnant woman sleeping space. I find it amazing that he hugs me at all. I would hate someone who woke me up 4-6 times a night with their constant bathroom trips. But he's nicer than I am (much!) and so doesn't seem to be too upset by his fractured sleep.

I really have almost nothing to do at work today. I need to find something to do. I hate asking for work though. Inevitably I get 6 emails from 6 different people, all with a task that needs to be done RIGHT THEN!!!, so I quickly go from no work to scrambling to get things done. I should rearrange files in our workroom today. I've been needing to do that for a while. My office is clean, at least, which is nice. Trying to slowly prepare for my 6+ months away.

I'm very excited about a planned trip this October. When I was in college, I spent a summer working in Western Ukraine with my church. Taught English, did bible studies, etc. I was on the last of the summer teams that went, and there were a bunch before me. There was some overlap with workers, so I heard many stories about the ones who had come before me. The people I worked with are still some of my closest friends. And now one of the previous year's people is arranging a reunion in Idaho for early October. I didn't think we should try to make it, since Lucky will be so small, then I couldn't handle the thought of missing it, so we're just going to pray that he likes the car and likes to sleep, and that he's not the type of baby to eat hourly (that would make a 5 hour car trip a lot longer), and we've put it on our calendar! Of course, there are still many things that could keep us from going, but it's fun to have that in the future.

Okay, off to do what little work I have, and to beg for more work.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Tuesday

Before I start rambling on in my usual disjointed way, I wanted to mention a blog I've been reading that I'm really enjoying. http://www.concierge.com/cntraveler/blogs/80days/ It's about a man who is traveling around the world in 80 days, and all the things he's seeing and doing along the way. It's been very entertaining and great fun to read. He's only about halfway through (just arriving in Russia), so you have plenty of time to catch up!

Just a normal Tuesday here. I'm listening to a CD instead of streaming the local Christian radio station over my computer. I need to focus on work, and not think about all the sadness in Virginia today. And that, understandably, what they're talking about. Which is right and good, but I have to compartmentalize for a while. So, the radio station gets shut off today.

I'm wearing a giant maternity shirt this morning. I seem to alternate between too small regular shirts and too large maternity shirts. At least today I look pregnant. About 50 weeks pregnant :)

I didnt sleep much last night, but am still feeling pretty good this morning. Daniel and I have a lunch date planned, nothing exciting, just walking to the library and then going to the little cafe downstairs from his office. But it's still nice to have a plan to see him at lunchtime, and something slightly different from my usual routine to look forward to. One of the books that we're returning at the library is the "30,000 baby names!" book. Colossally unhelpful. Unless you're really looking for that perfect ancient Mesopotamian name for your baby. I see why there are so many kids with the same name. It's too hard to branch out much. We have a short list, which is good. And 3+ months to change our minds still.

Speaking of names, I had an interesting surprise the other day. Daniel and I had asked his parents to help us choose a middle name, because we wanted a Chinese name for the baby, and we don't know enough to pick one. So we asked them for a few suggestions, from which we would choose. Then, lo and behold, Daniel got an email from his 80 year old uncle in Hong Kong, with a list of suggested names. I freaked a little- it's really strange to think of someone that I've said hello to once picking my baby's name. It makes sense- the uncle understands the generation names and what's appropriate, and will keep my baby from being named something that means "he who laughs like a horse" or whatever. But still. It's a little strange for my American female mind to comprehend sometimes.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Comments from strangers

I had a fun weekend of being told by people "oh, I cant tell that you're pregnant at all!" when they found out that I am in fact, expecting a little one in slightly less than 4 months. I know they're trying to be kind, but it's a little depressing. I've gone up several sizes in pants, so am much fatter than I used to me, and being told that I don't look pregnant means that I just look fat. Even people who know I'm pregnant have started to comment on how un-pregnant I look. This is not helping the whole self-esteem issue.

Attaching pictures so that you too can see how un-pregnant I still look.


The blue thing by my feet is an IKEA kitty tent. Cutest cat toy ever.
We're just trying to have a normal and quiet week this week. Daniel's gone Wednesday and Thursday to his other office, then we leave Saturday for Denver/Boston. Hopefully the weather back east will improve soon so that it's not a wet and rainy week in Boston. Not much else going on around here these days.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Feeling grown-up

Yesterday I actually got to go out by myself in the new car. I had (yet another) baby shower to attend, so had to drive a little way outside of Seattle to the nice town of Issaquah. It's one of my favorite drives in nice weather (which we had on and off yesterday). Issaquah is only about 10 miles outside of Seattle, but when you're driving up the interstate, you feel like you're a million miles from anywhere, because all you see is forests and mountains and beautiful blue skies. So pretty.

Not only was I in the new car for the first time yesterday, I totally relied on the navigation system for the first time. I didn't print a map, didn't look up directions to my friend's house, just put the address in the system and went. And I got there. It was a really strange feeling, being totally dependent on a computerized system like that. But the oddest feeling was when I pulled up at the house, and got ready to get out of my car. My sensible non-minivan, but still not a car-car. The one that can fit 4 people, and if needed, 6. The one with space for a stroller and a car seat. Realizing that the car is mine, and that it will soon have a car seat installed in the backseat was really weird. Made me feel very grown-up.

The shower was nice. I tried to avoid looking too closely at any of the adorable girl clothes. She got some really cute ones. But other than that ;) I had a good time. It's always fun to see friends having their special days. I think baby showers are growing on me. This couple tried for a lot of years to have this baby, and it's been a rough pregnancy for her so far, so it is wonderful to see her reaching the end and getting so excited about the baby's arrival. Such a blessing to everyone.

Friday, April 13, 2007

Being brats

There are two of us being annoying in the condo this morning. One is my kitten Gracie. She's decided, in the last month or so, that she has to be touching me. At all times. Wherever I am. She deals pretty well with being kicked out of our room at night, but then starts crying at the door at 6 AM. When I get up, she has to be walking next to me, and likes to attack my ankles as I walk. If I'm sitting, she has to be sitting on me. Which would be fine if she ever settled down, but she's jumpy and is always walking around and sticking her tail in my face, so that gets old quickly. And, honestly, I have a very very low threshold for annoyance these days.

I'm the other one being a brat this morning. We posted my great-grandmother's settee on Craigslist last night, and I got two emails this morning from people expressing interest. And I started crying. The chair is the only furniture I own in the entire condo, and I don't want to sell it. But it just doesn't fit anywhere. And doesn't match anything either. I know it has to go. But I'm still sad. And ever so annoyed at my husband. It's one of those days when I had to ask him to please not talk to me, because everything he does just annoys me today. I'm terribly uncomfortable today and slept badly, so that isn't helping either.

I am so sorry for the vast quantity of whining I've been doing lately. Work is finally going better, thank goodness. So today should be an easy day, once we get done with this morning's daycare visit. Hopefully I'll get over being a brat soon.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Our Wednesday evening

We're apparently on a roll with the whole get-the-condo-organized thing. Last night my beloved (the one with a iffy back) decided to move our gigantic bed to make space for my great-grandmother's loveseat in our bedroom. Right now it's in the guest room, but, due to the presence of a Murphy bed in the guest room, the loveseat is living in the only spot where the baby's crib can go. So the loveseat has to move. And we have nowhere to put it. Theoretically it should have fit in our room, but, after moving the bed and dragging the loveseat in the bedroom (I helped with that part), we discovered that it does not fit. So, we're going to have to sell it. It's not a family heirloom or anything, just a pretty settee-sized loveseat/chair that my great-grandmother purchased when she went to the retirement home. And I've always liked it. Daniel and I went and got it from my grandmother a couple of years ago and brought it to his house. Where it fit. And then we moved it to the condo, where it still sort of fit. But now, it's time to say goodbye.

Having to sell this chair will, however, give me more leverage in the "why do you need to own 16 coats/jackets when you only wear one and they're taking up valuable space in the condo" argument. An on-going topic of discussion. We're making progress though- things are slowly finding their spaces in the condo. We just need to remember to leave some space for the baby :)

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Stuff for baby's room


Daniel and I spent part of the evening yesterday organizing and putting things away in Lucky's room. It's too early to really be decorating the room yet, but I was tired of tripping over all the baby stuff that we've inherited, so something had to be done. We took the closet doors off and hung curtains up instead. This allows us to use the closet for the changing table, and saves space in the room itself. We got a few things put away in the closet, which makes me happy.


The room is going to be pretty simple, since it's still the guest room/office. I got a yellow crib set at the consignment sale a few weeks ago, and bought a bumblebee valance for our window. So the room will be yellow with bumblebee and Classic Pooh accents.


This is the valance that I bought.












The other thing I'm really excited about is the expensive but so cute! baby blanket that I got online. I love the Asian lucky cat dolls, and have a small collection of unusual lucky cats that I've gotten on different trips. So when I saw this, I knew I had to have it for the baby.

So, things are coming along. Four months to go- so we probably wont do too much more for a while. I think Daniel's found a stroller that he likes on Craigslist, so we may get that soon. We'll hold off on the crib for a bit, we're not getting anything special, so we don't have to order it ahead of time or anything.
Okay, enough of the fun stuff for me. My boss sent round #3 of the "thanks for your hard work but it's still awful" edits on the evil report. So it's back to that for me. Hope everyone has a nice and sunny Wednesday!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Introspective

I found out this morning that a girl from my high school homeroom passed away this week from leukemia. I didn't know her well- just sat a few seats back from her, but I remember her as a very kind and sweet person. It's strange when people my age die, especially in this way. Our high school class was very large (around 500 people), so it's not unexpected that we've lost a few people. But it's mostly been through accidents and things of that nature.

It's gotten me thinking this morning, that's for sure. On the bus to work, Daniel and I were stuck standing up (another hazard of having a pregnancy that's still hard to see- no automatic seating yet), and I kept edging closer to him. I just wanted to be near him, to know he was there. I know that my classmate is in a better place now- she was a believer and is now Home, rejoicing in her freedom from pain and sickness. I know that. But a small part of me is still sad for what she missed- the chance to enjoy life with her husband (she married only a few months ago), the opportunity to bring a baby into the world with him, the years of growing old together. And I'm sad for her family as well, losing a child so early. My heart breaks for all of them.

I need to stop being contemplative and start focusing on work. I have a client call bright and early tomorrow morning and have much to do before then.

May you all have a blessed Tuesday.

Monday, April 9, 2007

Chasing M&Ms

I am eating peanut M&Ms. They're fabulous :) Not the point though. The point of this post is that I just dropped one of the M&Ms, it rolled off my desk and onto my office floor (which is pretty clean). And I LEPT out of my chair, ran around the desk, grabbed it and ate it. There are far too few peanut M&Ms in a packet to let any go to waste. I haven't moved that fast in weeks!

Things are better this afternoon. I think that I'll be my usual cheery but slightly dark self very soon.

Sorry

I know I said I'd be in a better mood on Monday. Whoops, I lied. Work managed to make me cry (not a difficult thing) within 5 minutes of me walking into the office this morning. I'm just discouraged about things here. And I'm discouraged and tired in general. Feeling uncomfortable and fat these days doesn't help. Yes, I know I'm pregnant, not fat (I'm going to hit the next thin person that says that to me), but I've been in Weight Watchers enough to know that if weight gain is a result of eating junk food and it's showing up on your hips, it's probably fat. I cannot blame the baby for that. And I realize that the easy and probably wise solution would be to just not eat the junk food, but that brings us back to the beginning point of this email, work causing me stress. So cutting out the junk food isn't going to happen.

I'm going to go away and leave you nice people to your Mondays. I hope yours are going well.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Saturday

Daniel's off at men's group, I'm working, and the cats are sleeping at various locations in the study/baby's room. Jenny is, of course, in her new favorite spot, the infant car seat. Gracie is watching with a look of jealousy, but she knows she'll get her ears boxed if she tries to sit in the car seat as well.

I had something interesting happen yesterday. We stopped at the store on our way to home fellowship to pick up a dessert for the potluck. While we were there, I saw that the little 100 calorie Hostess packs were on sale, so I grabbed a few boxes. The checkout guy screwed up the scanning, and instead of 3 boxes, only charged us for one. As we walked out, I noticed this, and went back to pay for them. The lady whose line I went to looked at me like I'd grown a second head. She kept saying "are you sure you want to pay for them?" I did, that's why I went back! Now, it's not like I'm sitting around matching up my grocery items to my receipt to make sure they're paid for, but when you buy four things and there are only charges for 2, it's pretty obvious. Maybe I am overly honest about things like this. I think I'm hypersensitive these days, since I know that soon I'll have a little person following me around and watching my actions. And I know that I'm going to teach him all SORTS of bad habits, so maybe obsessive honesty in the grocery store will balance it out.

Lucky has gotten very active in the last day or two. I think he's started a soccer league in there, to be perfectly honest. Last night Daniel was actually able to feel the kicking. I was lying on my back and I suspect Lucky was kicking hard to try to make me stop doing that. But it was fun that Daniel got to feel the baby for the first time.

Okay, I need to get back to my deposition summarizing. Trying to get it done so that I can have a decent rest of the weekend and not have to worry about work. Hopefully I'll succeed!

Friday, April 6, 2007

Grouchy (again)

Thank goodness it's Friday. I don't think I would survive anymore work this week. I have no idea how I'm going to handle a home fellowship group potluck tonight. I just want to growl at people.

Work is draining the life out of me. Which makes it really hard to visit daycares and be objective, knowing that 90% of my part-time salary will be going to aforementioned childcare, leaving me to do this life-sucking job (disclaimer- I usually like my job, it's just been a rough week) for about the same amount of money as I'm going to have to spend on coffee to stay awake.

And I feel like doo-doo again today. Just so tired. I haven't even done that much this week, but it's apparently been too much. And if this child doesn't stop 1) sitting on my bladder and 2) kicking me if I actually let my bladder get even slightly full (I'm already going to the bathroom every 20 minutes! What does he want?), I'm going to ground him for about 3 years when he finally comes out.

They're cleaning our office windows today. There is little in life more disturbing than seeing a person hanging on your window reflected in your computer monitor. Very very odd.

I hope you all have a very blessed Easter.

Thursday, April 5, 2007

Thursday

It's been a long week here already. Work is kicking my butt. I ended up working until pretty late last night, and am hurting today from sitting so long yesterday. Hopefully we'll be able to wrap up round 1 of our report revisions today though, and I might get some sleep tonight. Last night I dreamed about tsunami waves, which I think says a lot about my mental state.

To recap the last few days- Tuesday we had a lovely evening after the doctors' appointments. We went over to Gasworks Park, a local Seattle park right on Lake Union. It was a gorgeous, if windy, day, and we had a lot of fun walking around and checking out the sights in the park. Then we went to Fremont, a quirky little area of Seattle, and checked out the troll under the bridge, the statue of Lenin, and had dinner at a cute little pub/brewery. I stared longingly at the beer.... Thank goodness Daniel doesn't drink. I think I would be far too jealous :) We even made it to the gym that evening, so it was a very productive day overall.

Yesterday I managed to cram in some work early and late, and a daycare visit in the middle. The place was nice, and very close to Daniel's work, so we're going to get on the waiting list. Which is 1-2 years long. We may need to re-evaluate our childcare plans when it gets closer to next spring.

So, now just getting ready to dive into the report editing. While sitting here wondering why I wore a dress that has suddenly gotten so tight I really cant breathe well. What was I thinking!

Tuesday, April 3, 2007

It's a...

BOY!!

One of my friends said that this shows God's sense of humor, since I am one of the girliest girls on the planet :) Things looked good in the ultrasound. Lucky went to sleep about halfway through and would not wake up for anything. So no good profile shot for us. We did get a cute picture of his little feet.

We're scheduled for another ultrasound at 28 weeks, since he's a tad bit small for gestational age. Daniel and I are both small, so the doctor isn't overly concerned, but low birth weight is also a side effect of my hypertension medication, so they have to make sure that he doesn't continue to be too little.

Now we have to pick names!!!

In 6 hours...

I'll be on an exam table in the Radiology department of my hospital, hopefully staring at blob-like pictures of my baby on a grainy screen! I cant believe it's finally time for the big ultrasound. Our doctor gave us the referral at the 16 week appointment, so it's been a long time coming. We're really really hoping to find out the gender today. Hopefully Lucky will decide to cooperate and not to take a nap during the exam.

Work is still insane, so I really should get to that. There's nothing like trying to cram a full day's worth of work into a half day, especially a half day in which my brain is elsewhere.

I'll be back tonight with news about the gender (I hope!)

Monday, April 2, 2007

Monday morning

(Before I start griping about work)- the new "car" is a Mazda 5. It's a mix between a station wagon and a minivan. They classify it differently depending on the dealership. It's a cute car- the one we got is a dark charcoal grey (despite Daniel's claims that it was blue- he isn't great with colors). I drove it most of the day yesterday when we ran post-church errands, and it drives nicely. I only got to drive because my beloved has messed up his back again. I think he's more frustrated with the frequency with which this happens as he gets older than he is the actual pain. Poor guy.

I procrastinated as long as I could, but I eventually had to open the report with my bosses comments. She pretty much wants me to start over. It was hard to see. Especially since it's due at the end of the week.

I forgot to mention that I had my birthday party on Saturday. I had cake- and friends! And gifts! an all-around great evening.

Tomorrow is our big ultrasound. Hopefully we'll find out the gender. We'll probably register this weekend. I don't really think that we need to register, but people have informed me otherwise.

Sunday, April 1, 2007

Perspective

I seriously lack perspective on things. Especially on things like magnitude of problems. I view all problems as REALLY A BIG DEAL!! POSSIBLY THE END OF THE WORLD!!! I stink at viewing things as they really are.

My boss emailed today to say that we need to do some significant re-writes on a report that we've been working on. It's been a tough report, one on a topic that I had no experience with at all, so we've been learning as we go. My boss is a nationally renowned scientist, one who knows something about pretty much everything. It's her job to find things that we need to change, after all, she's the one in front of a jury or judge, defending the work. But it's still hard to hear that I need to revise my work, mostly because that means I'm not perfect at everything I do. Which is still a shock to me to realize.

So I'm a little discouraged tonight. But it's good in some ways. It's forced me to step back and look at this from a more realistic perspective. Sure, we're going to have a rough week at work. But that's okay. That's what they pay me to do. In the end, it's going to get done, and everyone will be happy, and we will move on with our lives. This report does not affect my life, my husband, my child, or my relationship with God. And that's what I'm trying to teach myself in situations like these- if something doesn't affect one of those things, then it's probably not THAT big of a deal.