Thursday, October 18, 2007

So, apparently I have to be an adult about this

As I've mentioned on this blog before, my beloved and I are not planning to have any more biological children. The pregnancy was hard on my body, the delivery was rough, and I don't want to put us through that situation again. And, adoption has always been a dream that Daniel and I both had, so it makes sense to us.

So, we're having to figure out long-term birth control. Although, I have to say, Ethan's refusal to fall asleep until I'm 30 seconds from collapsing into an exhausted coma, is also very effective :)

Since I cannot envision any situation in which I would want to have another biological child, Daniel and I had discussed him having vasectomy. Which he talked about with his doctor today. Being a good doctor, she advised that it is not a good procedure to go through unless a couple is SURE that that's what they want to do. She suggested alternate options, such as an IUD. Daniel told me that, and my first reaction was "but I don't WANT to do that." I managed to not phrase it in quite that way when I answered him. Because I know that Daniel's totally needle and doctor-phobic, so I'm sure he's not exactly jumping up and down at the option that involves him. But my body has been through so many pokes and prods and invasive procedures in the last year that the thought of undergoing any sort of anything medical, well, it makes me feel a little ill.

Now we'll have to be rational adults and weigh the pros and cons of all ideas, and make a rational, logical decision. Seriously, I just want to whine and complain and generally gripe, and make Daniel go ahead with the decision that we'd originally made. But that's not a good plan. I'm 30 years old, I'm a mother, and I'm a wife, and it's time to step up and be a mature adult (for a little while, at least). Sigh.

8 comments:

carrie said...

If you truly know in your heart and soul (both of you) that sterilization is what you want, than I am more than on your side with this one. The procedure for men is so MINIMAL compared to the options for women. Trust me, I was in the room for my husbands (tmi?) and they did it at the doctor's office. A bag of peas on his, area, for a day and he was as good as new.

But it is such a personal decision, so I hope I am not overstepping that boundary here.

Adoption is a beautiful way to grow a family!

Carrie said...

No, you're not overstepping at all. I wouldnt have posted about it if I wasnt open to comments.

mary said...

I think the vasectomy is the way to go! Fortunately dh's dad had one, so I'm hoping he can talk it into it...it is just so much easier than the tube tying thing....

If you truly feel like this is it babywise, you could go ahead and go for it..or hold off another year and wait to solidify your decision....

I think i'll probably go for the IUD between babies....b/c the minipill is not very effective.....

Karen said...

Hubs and I have talked about this topic too and I think we'll take care of the issue with me and here is our logic: I know that I don't want to be pregnant again pretty much ever regardless of my life circumstances. HOWEVER, if something were to happen to me and Hubs remarries he and or his new wife might want children together. I know, it's a completely morbid way to think about it. :)

Good luck in the decision making. :)

Carrie said...

Now there's a point of view that I hadnt thought of. I cant imagine Daniel remarrying if something happened to me- it took him 38 years before he was ready to get married the first time...

But I'll throw that scenario into the mix when we discuss it again tonight!

I think we're just going to postpone the decision for a while, and pray that the 4 (yeah, I REALLY dont want to get pregnant again) semi-effective methods of birth control that we're using right now actually work!

BJ said...

OK, you guys are way ahead of me on this one. Dh is under strict orders to NOT marry anyone else if something happens to me. lol! Just kidding....sort of. We're pretty sure we're done, but I will say, even if you change your mind, we know of a few families that have a successful reversal. Not so much with tubals. Why does it have to be so hard??? I wish I could just pass on my fertility to someone else who needs it while I decide what I want to do long term.

carrie said...

Also -- fyi, I got pregnant the 2nd time while taking the mini pill AND breastfeeding!

We wanted our kids about 2 years apart, so it wasn't devastating or anything. But let that be a lesson to all of you!

I even went to my Dr. after having one period and asking if that meant I was ovulating. She assured me that I was not. That was the only period I had until I was done nursing baby #2!

Good luck! :)

Stephanie said...

IUD's are great. I was really worried about getting one, but really, it is not that big of a deal, and if you get the copper one, it's good for TEN YEARS.