Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Why I am anti-birth plan

I know I'm probably going to have to write one. According to most of my Internet friends, it's standard homework for childbirth class. And I know that I really do need to figure out if there are things I feel strongly about, before they come up in the delivery room.

But I don't want to.

For two reasons. 1) I am a bit of an ostrich. I prefer not to think about unpleasant things. I don't like to watch the news, I don't like to read serious books where people go through horrible situations. If I know I am going to watch a movie that has the potential to turn out badly, I try to read the summary online first, so that I am prepared for what I am going to see. That's just me. I may live in a state of denial, but it's a happy, fluffy place.

2) I am inherently lazy, particularly when I am in a situation with another person who actually knows what to do. For example. I choose to not be overly involved in our retirement investments. Not because I lack the mental capacity to understand the ins and outs of the things, but because I have a lovely financial advisor whose job it is to know about the benefits of our stocks/mutual funds, and I also have a husband who actually finds it interesting. Should I need to understand, I could. But I don't need to, so I choose not to understand.

After all, I don't see my friends and family trying to understand details of the effects of chemical exposures- no, they just ask me when they hear a news story or read an article about some supposedly "dangerous" chemical, and I give them my opinion as a toxicologist. I have yet to see any of them pull out a toxicology textbook and follow up on what I said.

So, that's why I don't want to write a birth plan. Not to mention that I feel like there are just too many unknowns to be able to plan well. And I've never been through this before- the doctors and nurses have. I don't know what's right for my baby! I've never been around childbirth before, and it's not like I even know my child better than they do. I know that he likes to kick my bladder, other than that, he's pretty much a blank slate to me.

Hopefully the doctor will let me continue to live in denial for a few more weeks. But she didn't look very happy last week when I said that I hadn't thought about birth plans at all. I'm going to try to stall at least until after childbirth class though. We'll see how that goes.

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